Cue the Duckboats | Championship Collection for Banner 18SHOP NOW

Advertisement

Does This Look Like The Face Of A Mayor Who Spent $30K On Personal Grooming In The Last Year?

Some of you don't have a skincare routine and it fucking shows. Say what you want about Brandon Johnson, but he is a good looking man. Sartorial (learned that word last night in a book, not to brag) and dapper. If you're constantly on camera trying to look presentable while talking about your city's migrant crisis then you're going to need to spend enough on your face to house migrant 15 families. Nearly all 30k went to one makeup artist on the Southside. There goes Brandon, supporting local small business!

I decided to take a look at my own expenses on my grooming just make sure this isn't a glass houses situation. I get a haircut for $60 including tip roughly every 4-6 weeks. To make the math easy because math is hard for me I am going say 12 haircuts a year. I am also good for a pedicure per month. Highly recommend. Headphones in. Grab yourself a book to read. Get your feet massaged and cleaned. That, with tip. also costs me about $60. My girlfriend will also do a little skin care routine on me to make sure I stay looking young. Cost...unknown, but my guess is the skincare stuff is the most expensive thing I have in my home. 

60+60 x 12 + X = conservatively $2700 less than what Brandon Johnson pays. Let's see the results

Me:

Brandon Johnson:

Timothy Hiatt. Getty Images.

Maybe I should be spending more.