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Gabe Kapler Just Wants To Be A Little Minx On TikTok, And There Ain't Nothing Wrong With That

Gabe Kapler is currently the assistant general manager of the Miami Marlins. Which means that for all intents and purposes, Gabe Kapler has absolutely nothing to do for a job. The Marlins are one of the worst teams in professional baseball right now, so clearly the general manager isn't doing a lick of work. Now imagine what the day-to-day is like for that guy's assistant. 

The man has nothing but time on his hands as a middle-aged divorced dude living in Miami. Of course this man is going to be throwing thirst traps around left and right.  

He's rich. He's divorced. He's in good shape. The man just wants to fuck. 

Say what you want about the guy as a ball club manager, but there's nothing wrong with that. If you were in Gabe Kapler's exact position, you'd be doing the same thing. It's not like he's stuck in Cleveland or Kansas City. The man is living it up in Miami. He posts one thirst trap, has a handful of Instagram models starting to flood his DMs, and he's hooked. 

Sure, the Marlins are dog shit. But he's just the assistant (to the) GM. What is he supposed to do about it? That's for someone else to deal with. Gabe Kapler was given the perfect opportunity to go down to Florida to make a bunch of money and do absolutely nothing besides getting down with some strange. You have no idea how long this opportunity is going to last, so you have to make the most out of it. Good for Kap. 

Also--he has a point. Theoretically, you can get anywhere in the world in under 5 minutes if you just chose to walk faster.