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No One Has Ever Enjoyed Unemployment Life Like Bill Belichick Is

CJ GUNTHER. Shutterstock Images.

There are certain people among us who are defined by what they do, more than who they are. When I was a kid and we had the (Quincy, MA) Patriot Ledger delivered to our door and I'd check out the obituaries (a/k/a "the Irish Sports Page") every day, I noticed two patterns. One, that the first line would invariably how the dearly departed earned a living. And two, how many of them would say he worked at some company for 40 years, recently retired, and then dropped dead shortly thereafter. Like the saying goes, when you retire, they throw a party for you. And the next one you get is your funeral. 

The point being, that if your work is your defining characteristic, finding yourself without a job to go to can be an extremely hard adjustment. And in the case of some extreme workaholics, even deadly. 

And no one in public life over the last 30-plus years was more addicted to workahol than Bill Belichick. Sure, he'd take some time in the offseason to chill out on Nantucket, go fishing on VIII Rings with Jimmy Johnson, or catch some rays in one of the places Jimmy Buffett referred to as St. Somewhere:

But even on those occasions, the work never actually stopped:

He's just built different. Running a football empire is what he was put on this Earth do to. His birthright. When you love what you do, you never have to work a day in your life, and all that. 

Which made the abrupt end of Belichick's Patriots career, followed by him getting all the other 31 NFL doors metaphorically slammed in his face all the more alarming. It begged the question, what was the most driven, dedicated man in American life going to do without football to be driven and dedicated to? And six months into his unemployment, it seems that question has been answered in one word. 

Thrive. 

I can't use the cliche' "Belichick is living his best life." Because we all know he's only at his best when he's placing Lombardi Trophies atop a pyramid of his vanquished enemies' skulls and hearing the lamentations of their women. But damn, if this is how he spends the rest of his time waiting for the Lucky Sperm imbeciles who inherited NFL franchises to put him in charge of their operations, it'll be a close second. Unemployment agrees the man. 

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Source - Bill Belichick has taken the time he would normally be coaching in the NFL to visit Croatia, where in recent days he met with Prime Minister Andrej Plenković and President Zoran Milanović, and received a Croatian certificate of nationality.

Belichick also attended the Croatian national soccer team's 3-0 win over North Macedonia on Monday, and later met with the team, which posted pictures of his visit on X.

First he lands the Manningcast gig. Probably for insane amounts of money. Then he crushes the NFL Draft as the expert on Pat McAfee's show (emphasis on the "expert"), then kills at the Tom Brady Roast. Now he's enjoying Citizen of the World status, receiving international acclaim on another continent in his ancestral homeland. Because while the good people of Croatia might not know an onside kick from a neutral zone infraction, they recognize greatness in all its forms. And finally he has the free time to visit their and accept the well deserved accolades from his countrymen. It's truly glorious. 

As far as his relationship to the Patriots, it's hard to imagine those bridges are burned. Not by his "mutual parting of the ways" with Mr. Kraft. Not even by the hatchet job done to him by the producers and editors of The Dynasty. Unless you think his sons are being held for ransom so he doesn't declare war on the people who dethroned him:

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It would appear that all the Belichicks have the best possible attitude about how it ended in New England:

… and how Belichick the Elder's post-Patriots life is going. No one who's ever lost a job has deserved it more.