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Here's The Easiest Way To Solve The WNBA's Violence Issue

Icon Sportswire. Getty Images.

The WNBA is in one of the weirdest spot that any professional sport has ever found itself in right now. For the first time ever, people are genuinely interested in the league. You have national shows talking about regular season WNBA action on a daily basis. Yet it seems like 95% of the league is hellbent on making everybody hate it. They're finally getting the attention they've been after for years, and it seems like they're actively trying to turn everybody against the league. 

Now most of the issues seem to be stemming from character flaws. There's a lot of jealousy and hatred in the league that overshadows anything else. Hatred is a good thing to have in sports, but it needs to be cultivated over time. Hating a rival is natural, hating someone you're jealous of just comes off as weird. There's not really a simple solution for character flaws. 

But the cheap shots in the league? Well there's a pretty quick and easy solution to that as long as you follow these 5 easy steps. 

1. For starters, we have to take player safety into consideration here. A league is only as successful as its stars. If star players aren't out there on the court because they're injured, then the league will never succeed. If the game is going to be as violent as its been so far this season, then you need to consider putting these women in protective equipment. Some shoulder pads, a helmet, elbow pads, maybe some padded pants, something like that. 

2. At the risk of getting cancelled, women just aren't as fast as men. Not saying women can't be fast, but biologically speaking men are just faster than women. So if women are already a little slower, and we are putting them in pads? Well we need to find a way to speed up the game. Perhaps putting them on a slicker playing surface that allows them to get up and down the court faster. Instead of hardwood, you could put them on ice or something. Obviously it's difficult to keep your balance on ice, so you'd probably have to attach some sort of blade to their shoes so they can carve through the ice instead of just slipping on it. 

3. One of the main reason these players are able to get away with playing so dirty is because the refs aren't enforcing the rules out there. So if the refs aren't going to do their job, then it's up to the teams to police the game themselves. Each team should consider putting someone on their roster who may not be the most skilled player of all time, but they can beat the shit out of someone on the other team if necessary. Like if an opponent were to take a run at Caitlin Clark out of nowhere, the Fever should have someone to immediately run onto the court and use their face as a personal punching bag. They'd be the ones enforcing the rules out there through the threat of violent retaliation. 

4. While we're already changing a few things about the game, let's just get this one out of the way--the ladies don't dunk enough. So there's really no need for the basket to be so high in the air. If anything, you could put the net on the ground and then just put more of an emphasis on defending the net. You could even have a player whose entire job is to tend to the goal. 

5. Hockey. Just have them play hockey. 

@JordieBarstool