Nicky Smokes Dozen Season 4 Power Rankings

13. Macrodosing 

Great show, terrible dozen team. With an all-time record of 8-8, they are the definition of mid. I know Arian carried the rock in the NFL, but Big T and Mad Dog are carrying this team. No disrespect to Arian because I fucking suck when it comes to trivia but 3.93PPG simply is not going to cut it. Maybe they should each take a tab of acid and see if they can tap into another level of trivia. 

12. The Ice Dogs

Jorge Mantilla. Shutterstock Images.

From one brain dead person to another, Marty Mush is a vegetable brain. Even if they're lucky enough to beat Macrodosing in the play-in game, this team has absolutely 0% chance of making a run in this tournament. Keith Yandle is a Florida Panthers legend so he'll always have my respect, but that New England Patriot cheating bastard can punt rocks (coming from a fins fan, you abused me my whole child hood). A 57% correct answer rate wouldn't even be enough to get the 1-seed in the special Olympics.

11. Smockin

I think Titus and Kenjac are a great duo, it's the one above I'm worried about. If Mintzy is able to bum some adderalls off of someone in the office this team can make a run, if not, they have no chance. Titus is a college basketball dork, and the team as a whole does very well in pop culture. However, it's the chemistry and inability to close out games that has me nervous for this Smockin team.

10. Honkers

Jason Kempin. Getty Images.

People don't give Robbie Fox enough credit for what he pulled off in season three. Dropping a Harvard Grad for the eventual season three rookie of the year Gia Mariano and Chris "The Stick" Klemmer should have won him captain of the year, but as we all know, these awards are rigged. Unfortunately for the Honkers, they haven't been able to capture that season three magic in season four. But, just like March Madness, you never know when a team can get hot.

9. Chicago


She might not blog on Friday's but man does she put up numbers on The Dozen. Kelly is a fucking machine. If I was her I'd be holding out for the biggest bag in Dozen history or demand a trade. And spare me the sports bullshit. Chief and Dave have been absolutely useless in that category with their lousy sub 35% hit rate on NBA and NFL questions. Without Kelly this team would have to file for bankruptcy and draft a completely different team.

8. Gen XYZ

I've never met Large but I fucking love his food reviews. This team can light up the scoreboard on any given day. Much like a fit bird on a summer day, they can slay any dragon they want. They have an impressive double success rate of 92% and average 14.30PPG and still, they're a sub .500 team. I asked Jake Marsh if it was a leadership or game-plan issue and he said, "no, we just play really good teams." Kinda soft if you ask me, but that doesn't mean this team can't win. 

7. Team Minihane

I got one word for you; Kirk. This guy is a fucking unit. Hands down one of the greatest competitors I have ever met. Without Kirk, this team would in a floatie in the middle of Cancun going down a lazy river. There's no easy way to put it, Hank and Rico are useless. If I had to make a comparison for this team, I'd say they're the 2007 Cavs when Lebron James took a bunch of Ohio Tate's to the NBA Finals.

6. Ziti


So what? No fucking Ziti? Oh no, there's going to be plenty of fucking Ziti in this tournament. This team can hang with anybody, except The Experts. If they weren't a pathetic 0-10 against the Experts I'd have them higher on my list, but Brandon Walker for once, has the edge over our boss. Not only are the Snack Gods an absolute unit when it comes to food but they can hold their own against anybody when it comes to the MLB, NFL, and NBA. Dave doesn't bring any points to the table, but he's the fierce leader this team so desperately needed.

5. Booze Ponies

I love this big sexy idiot more than anyone in the world. In terms of personality, this is the greatest Dozen team ever assembled. Dana Beers is my favorite human on Earth, Feits is a close second, and Will is just the boy. But don't let their personalities distract you from the fact that this team is a fucking wagon. Since adding Feits they've beaten The Experts, Team Minihane, Smockin, and the Honkers. They're my dark horse, don't sleep on the Boozers. 

4. The Yak

Steven Cheah is a fucking weirdo. This Yak team is very talented, but they simply don't give a fuck. The "bad boys" of trivia fuck around too much. No matter how hard they try they always fall short. Either Dan, Rone, or Cheah need to reach their hands down their pants and find their fucking balls. There's no reason why this team doesn't have a championship.

3. The Experts

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Even though he's an old, loud, and annoying piece of shit, Brandon Walker can fucking play. When it comes to college football and the NFL no one is touching the combination of Brandon Walker and PFT. They're in a league of their own, but everyone knows that this is Fran's team. That girl is special. She hasn't missed a mash up since January of 2022. This team is simply too talented not to win, which makes you wonder why they haven't changed their Final Answer Person.

2. Uptown Balls

There's nothing this horny ball of cum can't do. GB is a mother fucking savage in these streets. I thought the only thing Glenny knew was pussy, but boy was I wrong. The sex stallion himself is putting up an insane 9.25PPG and his partner in crime, Tommy, isn't to shabby either putting up an impressive 8.83PPG. I know Smitty is the dinosaur of the group, but he still holds his weight. If I was a line maker in Vegas they'd be the clear cut favorite to win the whole thing.

1. Frank & The Frankettes

Good thing we're not in Vegas because Frank & the Frankettes are my favorites to win season four of The Dozen. I work with Nicky and KB everyday, and let me tell you something, those two goofs are a walking adderall. Hands down the smartest people I've met, you combine that with Franks insane ability to name players from World War II and this team is almost impossible to beat. If I'm putting my money on anyone, it's this team right here.