The Phillies Are Off To One Of The Best Starts In MLB History And Skip Rob Thomson Rightfully Doesn't Give One Fuck

Yes, Topper. YES. Thank you for saying the regular season don't mean dick if you can't finish the job. ESPECIALLY after how last playoffs ended. The Phillies can win 120+ this year and unless they finally win that ring, they'll go down as the 2001 Mariners aka a barroom trivia question. Can't have it. And ya gotta love Rob Thomson toying with that possibly pre-pubescent reporter who has access to Google. No shit Philly Rob knows his histroy, bub (especially since he was in the Yankees organization when they upset that 2001 Mariners in the playoffs). He's the perfect Skip for this squad. 

You want an "IT" factor for your sports team? Peep what the BCIB has to say about this squad: 

That's it. That's everything you need to know about a team with this amount of talent. Injuries aside, chemistry is by far the most important aspect to a squad of this caliber. It also helps when the Phillies have the best pitching staff in baseball while Alec Bohm is playing like a MVP, Edmondo Sosa is coming off the bench going Oppo Taco, JT getting healthy and slaying, Marsh staying wet, Stott staying sexy, and Bryce Harper is homering in every game since helping teenagers find love. GLOVELESS. 


This team is the epitome of fun and now they're going for a sweep today vs. the defending champion Rangers. Unfortunately, Texas has a record of 24-26, so I'm not sure if a Phillies W counts since their opponent is under .500. Even tho the Phillies directly made them, and many other teams, under the .500 mark. To each their own. 

Go Phils. Once again, enjoy the Summer, for Red October is coming…