BREAKING: Inflation Is Over!

Huge news in the economic world as it appears that not only is inflation over, but deflation has begun. I know I don't have the financial background of that big bastard Large or the business acumen of Portnoy (who you should vote for as Captain of the Year in The Dozen right now).

To be honest, I don't quite understand what inflation is or how it works other than $100 now getting me a half of cart of groceries instead of a full cart nor am I sure if deflation is actually a word. I was told we were about to be enter a recession, which I don't understand either. But I don't think even that happened.

What I do understand is that the Arizona Iced Tea tall boys have been 99 cents dating back to the 90s when everything was good, affordable, and ruled as we traveled on streets paved with gold in all aspects of life. The $1.50 Costco Hot Dog + Soda held the line during these trying times and now the best bargain in drinks flipping that 99 cent price tag upside down with a 33% discount despite it costing a family of four roughly $50 to order value meals at a fast food joint tells me maybe we aren't so fucked after all. Any politician with a brain should be taking credit for this before the elections in November.