Dumping Them Out: Delaware Beaches Review

Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. Today's episode is coming at you from Bethany Beach, Delaware. I've been staying at an AirBnB in Bethany Beach since last Sunday. This is the first I've had the pleasure of galivanting the beach towns of southern Delaware + northern Maryland. Here is a pro's and con's list.

Pro: Lobster Rolls

There might be no food I enjoy more than a properly done lobster roll. Shoutout Lizzie's on Fenwick Island. Best lobster roll I've ever had. The bread was perfectly toasted, the lobster was perfect lobster consistency (idk how to describe good lobster or what exactly makes it great but it was phenomenal), and the butter was warm and melted. 

It was so delicious that I am willing to overlook the fact that a single lobster roll with a side of bagged chips ran me $37. I thought that was a bit pricy. Still worth it..

Con: Guy Who Served Me Lobster Roll

The man who presented me with my lobster roll and beer, upon viewing my Ohio I.D., said, "Oh wow! I have friends in Ohio. I'm going there this summer. I can't wait to eat the food."

What the fuck is that? Not once in the history of life have I heard someone say they're going to Ohio for the food. And coming from a man who just served me the best lobster roll I ever had in my life. I thought that was bizarre. So I pressed him on it and asked what the hell he could possibly mean my that. His answer was, "chili spaghetti".

This man in Delaware who has access to some of the best, freshest seafood in the country just can't wait to get his hands on Skyline Chili. I love Skyline Chili as much as the next guy. It's a massive W for Skyline and all. And a W for Ohio. So maybe this is actually a pro. But that was a nuts thing for someone to say. Also, you don't go to Skyline for the spaghetti chili. You go for the chili cheese coneys. I can't help but think this man is going to be massively disappointed. 

Pro: There's Only 1 Road

There's literally only 1 road. It's very convenient. Every single restaurant from Rehoboth to Ocean City is on the same long street. I didn't have to break out my GPS one time. If you're looking for something to do, you simply choose a direction (north or south), then drive until you see a restaurant, bar, or mini-golf course with a cool looking sign. Or at any point just turn towards the ocean and you're instantly at the beach. A great place for directionally challenged individuals.


Con: Lobster Rolls

I just remembered something about lobster rolls that piss me off. Hand to god there are restaurants that only serve their lobster rolls cold with mayo (New England Style). It's fucking insane that anybody would do that to lobster in the first place. But I guess some people like it that way. So whatever. Fine. Serve your soggy cold mayo sandwich. But there's places that don't even have a warm butter lobster rolls (Connecticut Style) as an option. Do you not have butter in your kitchen? What is preventing you from offering a better second option. "Nope sorry guys, the only possible way we can serve lobster is by slathering it in cold mayonnaise." Just sell me the fucking lobster plain and I'll bring my own bread and butter. I'll still pay full price. Ridiculous. 

Pro: Mini Golf Courses

There's no less than 100 mini-golf courses in a 10 mile stretch of Delaware's singular road. Most of them are dinosaur themed, but there are a few pirate, Maui, and Viking themed courses sprinkled in there as well. Although the Viking themed course did have some brutal cups (nobody say anything rude about my fiancees lack of speed control. It's called taking an aggressive line. She's a confident putter)

Also, about 50% of the mini-golf courses are owned by some dude named Nick. They're all called "Nick's Mini-Golf". Nick has a stranglehold on the mini-golf scene in the Delaware beach towns. One of his dinosaur themed courses had a dinosaur with a butthole.

Con: Ocean City Boardwalk

Arguably the most depressing boardwalk I've ever had the pleasure of setting foot on. We walked the whole thing last night. Just a sad place from top to bottom. And the way they sell their souvenir clothing is outrageous. I was a little cold last night, so I wanted to buy a cheap sweatshirt. I found a stupid pink one at one of those shitty souvenir shops that had a price tag of  $20. So I grabbed the sweatshirt and took it to the register. They rang it up at $40. I said, "What the hell, it says $20 right here." 


Her response was, "Well it's $20 for the sweatshirt, but this sweatshirt has 2 decals on it (front & back), so it's an additional $10 per decal."

Who the fuck sells sweatshirts by the decal? It's every shop on the boardwalk too. They have these big signs that say $10 SHIRTS, but then when you walk up to the register they're like, "Well obviously you didn't take into account the decal fee." So at some point every business on the Ocean City Boardwalk just agreed that's how they're going to rip people off with their shirts. It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I did not give them the satisfaction of selling me one. 

Other: Ocean City Boardwalk Bar

This isn't really a pro or a con, but when we reached the end of the boardwalk we popped into a bar called, "The Bar". The Bar was an sad bar with nobody in it, which was actually kind of ideal. The drinks were cheap too. So no complaints about the bar itself. We did however strike up a conversation with the bartender. He had a very unique take on the Scottie Scheffler arrest situation. He sarcastically said something along the lines of, "Yeah I'm sure he was just "going to the golf course" at 3 o'clock in the morning. Nothing shady going on there."

Just an incorrect statement for so many reasons. Nobody in our group even had it in them to correct him. Just nodded our heads in agreement.He was also under the impression that Scottie Scheffler actually got out of the car and beat the shit out of the cop. He thinks that the assault of an officer charge had nothing to do with the officer holding onto his car, and that Scottie Scheffler must have actually tried to fight the guy. Interesting dude. 

Delaware beaches. Fun place. 8/10.