Fresh Off a Four Hit, Four Stolen Base Night At Dodger Stadium, Reds Star Elly De La Cruz Says LA Is His City Because He Played A Lot Of GTA When He Was a Kid

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What were some of the best teaching instruments for you growing up? While Klemmer might tell you how revolutionary chalk boards were, someone from this century might say the Type To Learn program, Etch a Sketch, a Playboy Magazine, or even the Smart Board. Those were foundational tools that we used to mold our brains properly. Another one you might forget? Grand Theft Auto. 

Reds fans shield your eyes for a second. Fresh off a 4 for 4 night with FOUR stolen bases, Elly De La Cruz lifted the lid on why he loves playing in Los Angeles. Naturally it's because he knows the place like the back of his hand thanks to GTA. 

I've long said Grand Theft Auto is a vital educational tool. For starters, like Elly alluded to, it gives you a great idea about the landscape of major cities. Architecture, geography, civil engineering you name it. Throughout the series of games, you learn the ins and outs of Miami, LA, San Francisco, and NYC. 

You also discover what will trigger a police response and the different levels of attention your crimes will provoke. Blow through a red light? You're probably fine. Steal a car and shoot someone? Depends how fast you drive away. Blast a rocket launcher at a bus full of people with cops in the area? Probably a 5 star event that will have the whole force chasing after you along with aerial support. You'll then learn that immortality is important to achieve - Right, X, Right, Left, Right, R1, Right, Left, X, Triangle or just cheat the system and get rid of the police -R1, R1, CIRCLE, R2, UP, DOWN, UP, DOWN, UP, DOWN

If you're playing GTA at a young age you'll quickly learn money is the key to success. R1, R2, L1, X, LEFT, DOWN, RIGHT, UP, LEFT, DOWN, RIGHT, UP will get you on your way. In school they're too busy preaching how important writing in script is for some reason. No idiots, money is everything. 

Does Elly get to the MLB and rise to this level of stardom without the life lessons taught via GTA? It's hard to say. Either way, I'm glad it worked out this way because he's fucking electric to watch. Weird how GTA didn't trigger these capabilities for me at a young age, but to each their own. 

Does it make me feel ancient that he's likely talking about GTA V and not San Andreas or the Liberty City days? Oh yeah. Worse feeling than Melo's kid currently deciding where he's going to play college. Goddammit. 

One last thing. Can't feel great for a Reds fan or front office member seeing Elly confess his love for LA like this. We don't need this monster on the Dodgers, they have enough. Please add Cincinnati to next year's map and give this man a 15 year extension.