Shaving My Head Might Be The Biggest Mistake of My Life

I really want to use another word to describe myself but I can't. I'm a fucking idiot. What have I done? The number one rule to a receding hairline is to cover it up at all cost and I let Jersey fucking Jerry, a former crack head, shave my fucking head. Why didn't I come up with this idea in December? Everyone's walking around in snow caps, no one is gonna see my McDonald’s happy meal golden arch ri ri ass hairline. But no, my dumb ass does it the first week of summer! Great call Smokes! You stupid fucking meat head piece of shit. What are you gonna tell your roster now? The second you take your hat off they're all going to quit the team. You're gonna have to glue that hat on your head and never take it off. You're gonna have to buy a brimless hat just to go to sleep at night, you stupid fuck. 

Who knows? Maybe this is a blessing in disguise, because I can assure you right now there is 0.0% chance I leave the house. I will be spending the next month locked inside my house doing nothing but push ups, sit ups, writing blogs, and make content (with a hat on). The demon had to be faced, and although it is winning now, it will not win the war.