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TAKE NOTICE: Ranger Suarez Has The Biggest Balls In MLB And Possibly On Earth

The Philadelphia Phillies play the New York Metropolitans and their Queens Dance Crew this evening in South Philadelphia (weather permitting, of course). On the mound for the Mets - Adrian Houser. A pitcher who came to NY after 7 seasons in Milwaukee whose 31-37 career record and 4.20 ERA Joey Lucchesi, a nice looking gentleman whose baseball skills can be accurately describes on MLB scouting reports as "Meh". Good on those Mets, who just lost two in a row to the Phillies in Citi field. Solid effort all around, team! 

On the bump for The Fightins is quite possibly the greatest pitcher, nay, human who has ever picked up a baseball - Ranger "Big Ol' Nuts" Suarez. You may remember him as a quality arm out of the bullpen who became the Phillies 3rd starter and promptly stamped his dick down for a regular spot in the rotation. Now you know him as (currently) the best pitcher in baseball.

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This was the last time he took the mound. Another Ranger Suarez start, another big sack 0 ER Cy Young worthy performance. Ho diddily hum. The dude has been straight up DOMINANT. And it's not just the eye test. Peep these facts. Ranger has the lowest ERA by Phils starter since to begin season after 8 games since Chris Klemmer's childhood pal Grover Alexander in 1916. 

He also joined Steve Carlton as the only pitchers in Phillies history to start a season 7-0 in their first 8 starts. Not the worst company. Plus he does Ranger Suave stuff like this on the regular:

According to the wonderful Drafkings Sportsbook App, The Phillies currently have 2 of the top 4 pitchers with the highest odds to win the NL Cy Young. Zack Wheeler is 1st at +300. Ranger is 4th at +800. Oh and Aaron Nola pitched a complete game, 8K shutout yesterday in Citi Field. Oh and Christopher Sanchez is the best 5th starter in baseball. Oh and Spencer Turnbull got "Demoted" to the arm barn after starting a few games where he absolutely SHOVED with a sub 1.50 ERA. Oh and Taijuan Walker hasn't been too shabby since his return from the IL, either.

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Guess there's just a few reasons why the Phillies were the first team to reach 30 wins this season in The Show. Gotta love to love it. Go Phils. 

PS - Boy do I love being right .002% of the time. 



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