Even If The Celtics Squeak by The Miami Heat, They Won't Win a Championship

Three minutes. That's how much time was needed to show every 3-pointer the Miami Heat hit last night in Boston. I'm going to keep it a buck; it would be almost impossible for the Miami Heat to shoot like that again. That being said, the fact that the Boston Celtics were 14-point favorites at home and LOST to a Miami Heat team that didn't have Jimmy Butler and Terry Rozier tells me everything I need to know about the Boston Celtics. This Celtics team is the same as years past: fake tough guys. Yeah, they look great on paper and are unstoppable in the regular season, but once the going gets tough, these boys crumble every time.

Jayson Tatum is a great value Kobe Bryant; he's got all the talent in the world, but he doesn't have "it." Where was JT in the 4th quarter? Anybody know? I couldn't find him. I think I saw him at the free-throw line once where he missed both, but other than that, I couldn't find JT anywhere.


C's fans around the world were very adamant last night that they "weren't worried" but deep down we all know they are. 


It's not PTSD, Hank, it's your destiny. You've seen this movie too many times. You know what's coming; the stars of the film are the same. Sure, there are a couple of new side characters to spice things up a little, but the ending will never change. The only thing that's going to change is your summer plans because guess what? WE'RE TAKING THE BOAT OUT!

I already got one boat day in the bag, don't let me get two, definitely don't let me get three, and my God do NOT let me get four or you might as well just give me the fucking boat. 

Strap in Boston, daddy’s home.