The Dozen Should Relegate The Worst Team In The League Each Year, And I Have My Threesome Ready To Jump In Should There Ever Be An Opening
Listen, if you came here to get my comment on the disgusting lack of sportsmanship that transpired both before and after I helped my good friends Chief and White Sox Dave in their trivia matchup, let me quote the umm, great?, Michelle Obama: When they go low, we go high. That's all I have to say about that. Could I have made them say please or withhold the correct answer, waiting until the buzzer sounded to tell Big T, Arian, and Mad Dog that it was Jhonny Peralta who had three 20+ home run seasons for the Indians between 2003-2010? Yes, I could've. But what's more important to me than a feud that was decided 3 months ago was that I wanted to put some good game film out there. And at the end of the day, I can now add to my Free Agent resume that I have never missed one question on The Dozen.
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I don't think it's a secret that I want to join a squad. And while one opening (actually two, but I can only speak on one) presented itself since becoming full-time, I umm, didn't think it was the right wagon to hitch mine to. So now I'm like Joe Flacco in 2023, staying ready at home until the right opportunity comes calling, so I can take them to new heights as a franchise.
Here's a little known fact for you all: in my first week here, I began working on a blog in which I proposed new Dozen teams for me to join. I didn't get too far into it because I wasn't sure the juice was worth the squeeze, but I did a quick rough draft on Google Docs of some trios I had in mind.
And I had a few more that would've ruffled some feathers, but I chose not to go any further because I didn't think they were realistic to propose on Day 1…..plus I actually want to join the league, not just joke about it.
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So now, just over a month in, I am ready to propose a new idea. We've got teams competing to finish in the Top 12 and make the postseason, but what about the bottom dwellers that are just hoping the offseason gets here as soon as possible so they can head off to Cancun?
Let me be very clear: I enjoy The Dozen because everyone loves trivia, but I wouldn't say I've watched a million matches, and I certainly haven't followed the history of the league. I truly do not know who is on any teams except for the obvious ones. But even with that, I was unaware of the 3rd member of "Team Chicago" until three days ago when that match was filmed. So this is no direct shots at anyone in specific, but I think there needs to be some sort of accountability / something to play for for those bottom teams that aren't making the playoffs.
How about we take a page out of the Premier League's playbook and relegate the worst team or two each year (have they ever done this….?). Send them back to the 5th grade Quiz Bowl if that's how they're going to perform. It'd certainly make some of the lower ranked matches a whole lot more interesting if you had the ability to be kicked out of the league. Winning brings excitement to the champions, but everything becomes more entertaining when losing brings suffering.
For example, the Mini Golf Tournament was very cool the other day, but it was lacking one key aspect: a punishment. It was fun to watch the Riggs, Mush, Frankie, and Francis duke it out for 2nd place and $10,000…..but what about the people (like me) on the other end of the standings? What if they had to PAY the winners out of their own pocket? Now THAT is entertainment.
So if there was some sort of relegation rule in The Dozen, I already have my handpicked team locked and loaded, confirmed ready to jump in the league and immediately contend for a championship. We don't have a team name yet, but we have our threesome.
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Blutman, Mackenzie, and Tate? A mix of pop culture, sports, and whatever the fuck is rattling around up there and that brain that resides in that cherry colored dome of his. Move over Vince Young, Michael Vick, Nnamdi Asomugha, and the 2011 Philadelphia Eagles……this is the new Dream Team. And you know how serious this team would take it based on their niche categories I asked them to provide this morning. No one even batted an idea, giving an immediate response within one second.
Niche Categories:
Tate - Ohio High School Sports Mascots
Mackenzie - New Girl
Blutman - Fargo (Season 1)
So there you have it. The offer is on the table. My team is on the floor, and if the league ever needs a new team….or a team ever doesn't seem as into as they once were….or if a team is so bad that they need relegated, then Makenzie, Liam, and myself are ready to play.