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Trevor Bauer Says Yet Another Sexual Assault Accuser is Being Charged With Defrauding Him

Harry How. Getty Images.

I feel like at some point in everyone's life you meet that person who, while they might not actually be guilty of anything, is still their own worst enemy. Like no matter where they are in their own life, they're always a victim of circumstances. Every boss they have is a jerk. Every coworker is trying to take advantage of them. Everyone they date is a psycho. Every sales person is trying to rip them off. There was a guy in my neighborhood growing up who every few weeks would end up with a black eye. And invariably when you asked what happened, the answer was "Some guy at [insert name of local hellhole dive bar] sucker punched me for no reason." (RIP, Rob.) And eventually you just have to acknowledge the pattern and admit that, to some extent, they're responsible for their own fate. 

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Well I think we can semi-officially put Trevor Bauer in that category. It's been a while since he was suspended by Major League Baseball after being charged with sexual assault by this young Dodgers fan:

He managed to come out of those allegations more or less unscathed:

… though still not signed to any team. 

The last we've heard from him he was doing the Kenny Powers circuit in Mexico. With terrible results thus far:

Then Bauer once again found himself suspected of the same crime, but with a different accuser. And once again taking to the internet to plead his innocence:

TMZ - A woman who accused Trevor Bauer of sexual assault has just been hit with a criminal charge … after she allegedly defrauded the former Cy Young winner into paying her for an abortion he believes never happened. 

The charge -- fraudulent schemes and artifices -- was formally filed against Darcy Esemonu in Arizona on Monday … weeks after a Maricopa County grand jury indicted her on the felony count.

According to a video statement Bauer posted on his YouTube page Tuesday:

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…  it stems from allegations Esemonu made against the former Dodgers star in a 2023 lawsuit.

The woman alleged in her papers that Bauer raped her during a 2020 encounter and got her pregnant. In a countersuit, Bauer denied any wrongdoing … but he did say he had consensual sex with her one time in Dec. 2020, when the condom he had been using broke. …

However, in his video statement Tuesday, Bauer said, "She never had an abortion, because she was never even pregnant." He added that that was all "corroborated by her own medical records."

Bauer said authorities were made aware of all of this after they initiated an investigation into her sexual assault allegations against him.

Court records show Esemonu was also charged with fraud due to her interactions with a man named Marco Bresciani. In addition, the records show she was charged with felony theft by extortion for wrongdoing against Bresciani as well.

Assuming all this is true - which I'm not necessarily doing, I'm just reacting to the published reports - it's a good thing any time an innocent person goes free and a false accuser gets charged with breaking the law for lying. That is our criminal justice system at its best. The fundamental rights to a presumption of innocence, to get your day in court, to face your accuser, and the high standard of guilt beyond a reasonable doubt are the bedrock of our liberty. Among the most civilizing principles we have. What our ancestors fought and died for. What separates us from the tyrannies. 

With all that high-minded rhetoric out of the way, how about if Trevor Bauer just knocks it the fuck off? Is it too much to ask that he stop boning random - though admittedly attractive - women who are out to destroy him? He spent 10 years in the Majors. Did no teammate ever take him under his wing, pull him aside and say, "Kid, never put your dick into Crazy"? I always assumed that was all part of mentoring young ballplayers. Like teaching them to watch out for the Hidden Ball Trick, how to avoid signing autographs, and how to get suckers to pay for your meals so you can pocket your per diem. 

I mean, would it kill Bauer to just find a nice woman and settle down? A normal one who just likes to stay in, watch Netflix movies and bake sourdough? How many times does he have to put out fires started by these unhinged women he's somehow drawn before he's going to figure out this is not a healthy lifestyle? Even if the sex is great, for certain it's not good for his chances to ever make it back to MLB. I don't care if he pitches like Pedro Martinez from 1997-2000, no team will sign a guy who wins more defamation of character lawsuits than he does games. Who can't ever seem to strand Women in Scoring Position. 

I hate to sound like I'm blaming the victim in all this. But there comes a time when a 33 year old man has to figure out how to quit being victimized. And I'd say this most recent (allegedly) false accuser is as good a time as any.