Jason Kelce Permanently Lost His Super Bowl Ring In The Most Jason Kelce Way Possible: Frolicking In A Giant Tub Of Chili
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FAT BATMAN FOREVER!!
I'm sure the sister-in-law's PR team loves this one. In all honesty, it's probably the most Jason Kelce thing possible. You think the consistently shirtless, beer chugging, ultra popular alpha male went ham before? HA. That's when he was employed. Kelce has been released into the wild now. No football rules, NFL regulations, or team fines. This is not a man who was going to retire into the sunset with a book on the beach. Nope. Jason Kelce is literally diving in chili and losing priceless artifacts in the process. Respect. Even tho the ring definitely wasn't priceless...
Good gravy/chili. What a travesty. A significant heirloom from the Eagles only Super Bowl victory which belonged to arguably its most popular player now now belongs to the ages. Just like Lincoln. Or you can simply say that was a waste of $40K stuffed in a teenager's cum rag that got swallowed by chili which now rests in a Ohio landfill. To each their own. But what's done is done, even though Jason will never be.
Memorial Day is just over a month away. You think Jason Kelce down the shore was a menace during his playing days? Just imagine him with borderline unlimited time on his hands. ESPECIALLY since the Barstool Beer Olympics are apparently off the table. May God have mercy on Sea Isle City. Seriously. Note the timestamp of this 5.7 sec, 30oz beer chug on a random Summer Wednesday:
Long Live #62. Go Birds. Now and forever.