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There's Now Apparently Advanced Scouting Reports For Babies After A Viral Post Showing His Child's Insane Efficiency

Social media has ruined a lot of our brains, and it has seemingly now translated over to advanced baby statistics like it's Baby Savant? Twitter is going to start arguments about babies being "bedtime merchants" and "system babies" all because of brain rot from tech and social media. I do find it funny that half the responses are "oh my god, why would they collect all that data on your literal child?!" like it's Facebook tracking your cookies or some shit, and then the other half are disputing these stats like a crooked judge's scorecard.  

With that being said, the possibilities of this are endless. Imagine this was your preschool application? 5 star recruit out of Patchogue, New York with a 95% sleep efficiency. Prime candidacy for a preschool if you ask me. 9 hours and 17 minute stretch of sleep? Those are Wilt numbers. And think about how much more we could start extracting. Crawl speed? Expected speech percentage? 

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I love this dad hitting everyone with the "I may have the best baby of all time" like he's just hit the lottery of children. He just got a Cooper Flagg type of prospect. Top 20 visits are on the way and he's gonna have a lot of preschool administrators in his ear trying to schedule his baby for a campus look. 

I was in legitimate tears reading Twitter discussing if this prospect is in the "MVB" conversation with a fake graphic:

Unreal.