The Entire Barstool Basketball Team Hates Each Other's Guts, But Stay Undefeated
AP News (Manhattan, New York) The locker room should have been ecstatic after advancing to 3-0-1 with a 44-41 victory that was hardly ever in doubt, but during the team's post game break down, there was a desolate feeling in a room filled with people. A moroseness that made you question if it was a winning locker room, or a funeral for someone beloved. Not a loved one who was old and decrepit, so you're happy they're in a better place. No, this felt like a funeral where there is a child size coffin in the front of the room, and people needed answers. The community has a problem, and action is needed.
What's the problem? Pure hatred. Plain and simple. Everyone absolutely hates everyone. The head coach hates the players, the players hate the head coach, players hate other players for getting more playing time, everyone hates how the refs call the games, while the refs hate working the games. Even the beat reporter hates everyone in the league. If one more player bitches and moans about a foul like they are LeBron James, and I just might snap.
Even with everyone despising each other's existence, the team managed to pull off another win, but this win felt different.
Things felt different, despite no glaring changes. The same starting lineup took the court, the same bench rotations were a part of the game plan (Rico Bosco, Wayne Jetski, Matthew Jenks), a few bench players were missing (John Rich, Tommy Smokes, Gia), but overall things were par for the course.
Barstool got off to a strong start, but their play felt completely lifeless. The team was simply going through the motions. All teams are tired past the midway point of the season, but this felt like it was more than tired legs. John Rich and Tommy Smokes are a big energy boost for the bench, but the chemistry was off.
Regardless of leading the team in rebounds and second chance points, head coach Chris Klemmer benched Dana Beers in the first half for not hustling back on defense. Instead of using the benching as punishment, the benching was needed as a break for the exhausted Dana Beers. After recording a career high in minutes played last week, some are questioning if load management should have been taken into consideration. But, Klemmer is an old school coach who firmly believes players should be playing the full 8 game rec league season. "Player's in the 1980's didn't have a problem hanging dry wall all day then showing up to rec league, why should players in today's rec league take games off?" Fans would argue they aren't paying to see the team's leading scorer sit out. Can the team find a balance to rest their starters before the playoffs start in 3 weeks?
In the second half, team Barstool ran into their usual problem of getting complacent and blowing a big lead. When the pressure was on after the opposing team tied the game, but it was Nick Mulcahy who stepped up to the free throw line and drained two massive shots to make the score 43-41 in favor of Barstool. The team has consistently struggled from the charity stripe all season, with some opposing teams considering implementing the Hack-a-Beers game plan for any player on the court for team Barstool. Mulcahy not only drained massive free throws, but he also made a diving play out bounds and threw the ball off a defender's leg to save a possession and keep the ball with Barstool. On that recovered possession Wayne Jetski was fouled and went 1 for 2 from the line to make the score 44-41. Down 3, the team was in a position they've been in before this season where the game would be decided by one last defensive possession.
On the last possession, coach Klemmer made a decision on subs that some would call questionable - replacing known lockdown on ball defender, Wayne Jetski, for another great defender in Eric Hubbs. Dana Beers made the suggestion to keep Jetski in the game, and Klemmer let him know it's the coaches decision. Both parties were overheard yelling at each other that they didn't know basketball. Hubbs and Jetski together on the court would have made sense, but Coach went with size and one on ball defender and size with the rest of the court to grab a rebound. In the end, it was Hubbs who was in on the action to stop the opposing team from moving the ball and getting a game tying shot off before time expired.
Sources close to the team said morale was low in the locker room, and things got strange. Klemmer told each individual player how great they played, then immediately walked out of the locker room, and into his Uber. The arena's security camera's verified the quiet storm off with footage of Klemmer leaving the building. Despite the awkward win, the team is still undefeated under head coach Chris Klemmer. It's not all kumbaya and holding hands on a winning team, but something feels off. Does management risk making drastic moves this close to the playoffs, or do they ride with the current team they spent big money on during the off-season?
Rico's Rewards Club
Hard Hat (Hustle): Eric Hubbs
Windex (Rebounds): Dana Beers
Padlock (Defense): Wayne Jetski