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People Who Witnessed The Total Solar Eclipse Are Making It Their Entire Personality, And I'm Jealous As Fuck

Elon Musk is somewhere punching air after seeing this video. This spaceship car has been identified cruising around Indianapolis for the last decade, but it's back in a big way after the solar eclipse. A good chunk of Indiana was in the path of totality (can't get over how cool that phrase is), and since Hoosiers experienced 100% darkness, they've made the eclipse their entire personality. 


I Facetimed with my Mom and Dad the day after the eclipse and it was all they talked about for 30 minutes straight. How amazing the experience was, simply walking out in their own backyard and witnessing the cosmic event of a lifetime. They kept telling me how cool it was, and if I get the chance to see a total solar eclipse in my lifetime, I should travel to see it.

FUUUCK. I already had massive FOMO from being in NYC and experiencing only a 90% blockage eclipse, but I was able to convince myself that I didn't miss anything special. Apparently I missed an event that puts your whole life into perspective, an event that reminds you we are all specs on a rock, floating through the universe. I told my parents the path of totality will go through North Dakota in 2044, so I don't think I'm going to be making a trip to bum fuck nowhere, even for an eclipse. One of the few states that's a less desirable travel destination than Indiana? The worst Dakota? No thank you. But, they insisted it was worth the trip. 

My parents weren't the only ones making a big deal out of the event, my friends were also texting me how much the total solar eclipse ruled. My friends sent me pictures, but it was like getting a snapchat video of a concert. There wasn't a sea of drunk people yelling the lyrics to the song being performed, but the picture quality sucks, and makes it seem like your a billion miles from the stage. I'm starting to think the total solar eclipse people are the new cross fit personality. Yeah, you're experiencing the gym a little differently, but you're still just simply working out. Nothing ground breaking. No need to tell everyone. 

Are they making a big deal out of nothing? Is the hype real? Should drop everything and travel the country in flying saucer car in search of the next cosmic event, thus finding myself? Or, for the next eclipse should do what I did for this one, look out the window while I sit at my desk typing a blog about Tommy Smokes making the starting lineup for the Barstool intramural basketball team. Two equally fulfilling events. Whatever I decide to do, no way I'm going to North Dakota.