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It Sure As Heck Sounds Like The Arizona Coyotes Are On Their Way To Salt Lake City

In case you haven't been keeping up with the saga, here is a quick synopsis of everything going on with the Arizona Coyotes over the past...20 years. 

The Phoenix Coyotes came into the league during the 1996-97 season. We're closing in on 30 years of hockey being in the desert but at no point during that time have the Coyotes made any money. It turns out that putting an ice hockey team in the desert may not have been the most "slam dunk" decision the league has ever made. Aside from introducing a young Auston Matthews to the sport of hockey, the Coyotes franchise hasn't done anything for the NHL. They don't make money, and they've really only had maybe a 3-year stretch where they were any good from 2009-2012. The team has been god awful for over a decade at this point, has gone bankrupt, has been kicked out of their arena in Glendale, have been playing in a college stadium this season, and the NHL has still been giving them every opportunity to figure out a way to make something work to stay in Arizona. 

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According to America's insider, Frank Seravalli, perhaps that time has finally run up for the Coyotes. Gary Bettman has done everything in his power to give the 'Yotes a hundred chances to stay in Arizona. But this season was a real "shit or get off the pot" type of season for ownership in Arizona, and with just a week left in the regular season they still don't have any concrete plan to make it work moving forward. 

Giphy Images.

Looks like we're heading to Utah, boys. 

Part of me loves the move just because it'll finally get Gary Bettman away from that damn team. He's been hyperfixated on them for the past 20 years. Think about how much time and energy he's wasted on trying to get the Coyotes to work in Arizona. Then think about how much other shit the NHL sucks at doing. The two of those things are directly correlated. Just think about how awful the NHL is at scheduling. There are a few days during the season where the NHL is the only league in action. They'll have 4 games start at 1pm and then 11 games start at 7pm. Maybe they'd learn to stagger the schedule on those days a little once Gary isn't trying to help those homeless bastards have enough money to pay their Zamboni driver. 

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Another part of me is going to miss the chaos that the Coyotes bring to the league. Every day it's something new with those guys. It's not my money they're wasting, and it's not my league they're dragging down with them. So as a guy who just gets to kick back and enjoy the madness, the Coyotes have been tremendous entertainment for the last 20 years. So seeing them move to Utah is going to sting a little because there's a strong chance they develop into a fully functional, contributing organization to the NHL in Salt Lake City. 

P.S. -- Please, god, let it be the Soakers. 

@JordieBarstool