Kanye West is Trolling The World With His Hot Naked Wife
On the surface, if you take everything Kanye does in his life at face value.. if you assume he's being genuine.. you've probably come to the conclusion that the man is mentally unwell. He's ambushed Taylor Swift on stage at the VMA's, he's run for President, he's replaced his teeth with titanium (permanently), and now he's parading his lovely wife Bianca around Los Angeles in a one-of-a-kind condom dress.
More like Bianca UN-censori if you ask me.
When you look at Kanye's body of work, it's almost impossible to come to any conclusion other than, "This man has lost his mind." However, for as long as I've been following the exploits of Kanye West, there has always been a small part of me that wonders if he might not be as crazy as we think. Sometimes I like to think of Kanye as the world's greatest troll.
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I'm sure it's true to a degree. Kanye is definitely calculated with much of what he does. But above all he's most likely just a crazy person who's god-given ability to make good music has gotten him to a point in life where he can be as bat shit crazy as he wants without having to worry about getting cancelled. It's like what Dave Portnoy always says, "Manny Ramirez threw a traveling secretary down a flight of stairs and was batting cleanup that same day."
If you're good at what you do, you can get away with anything. If Kanye West walked into the University of Iowa's Children's Hospital (the one that looks over the football field) and told all the kids they were lying about having cancer, and accused them of being crisis actors, I bet Kanye would still come out relatively unscathed. He'd get dragged by the internet for a few weeks. He might lose an ad deal or two. He might need to cut a check to the sick kids he made cry. But give it half-a-year and he'll be fine. His fans will chalk it up to being part of Ye's creative process. Then when Kanye eventually releases 'Vultures 2' as an album that can only be heard on a $1,200 8-track purchased from www.yeezy.com... those bad boys are going to FLY off the shelves. Whether or not those 8-track players ever actually make it to your doorstep is a whole different story. But best believe he'll take your money.
But even though I know he's just a crazy person, it makes me laugh to imagine a world where Kanye West is a shrewd, well-calculated, business man who carefully plans out every little thing he does. I like to picture Kanye in a board room at Yeezy HQ. I picture him addressing his team at the morning meeting in a serious, level-headed tone.
"Hello everyone, please take a seat. Donuts are in the break room if you haven't gotten one yet. As you know I'll be dropping an album a year from now, and it's time we start thinking about promotion. Now this might sound a little avant-garde to some of you, but I really think this is the point in my career where I need to publicly embrace the ideas of Adolf Hitler. Yes, yes I know.. That seems crazy.. I know people aren't going to like it. Adidas may drop me entirely. But all press is good press here at Yeezy. And considering today's political climate, I think praising Hitler's ideas will really move the needle. It will be the perfect follow-up to our new Yeezy brand 'White Lives Matter' merch."
Maybe Kanye West's whole operation is a well-oiled machine full of people who know exactly what they're doing. Maybe Kanye is three-steps ahead of us with every move he makes. Or maybe it's not even that deep. Maybe Kanye just loves doing bits. Maybe he got really really bored with making music and just wants to see how much dumb shit he can get away with without being cancelled.
Sometimes I wonder if his entire Yeezy fashion line is one big bit. Like one day Kanye was on the phone with a friend and said, "Yo, do you think if I started a fashion line and only put out the stupidest fucking outfits of all time that people would buy them? Like if I made Bianca wear a comically big neck brace, and I put on a pair of football shoulder pads under a t-shirt, would people actually take me seriously?"
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Every time you see Kanye and his wife they're wearing something stupider than the time before. It's almost impossible that he's not trolling us at this point. Now Kanye's fashion line has evolved to the point where he's just taking his wife out on the town with her naked body fully exposed. Every time you see Kanye he's trotting his hot, naked wife out for the world to see. "Trotting out his hot naked wife" is Kanye's version of the Green Bay power sweep. Until somebody learns how to stop it, he's gonna keep running it down our throats. Because every time he's seen with his hot naked wife, him and his hot naked wife trend on the internet. His hot naked wife in a stupid outfit is good for 8 yards per carry.
Kanye could truly do some of the most heinous shit in the world and people will pass it off an Kanye being Kanye. I've already touched on the Hitler thing. But consider Donda Academy. How did we ever allow that to become a thing? We just let Kanye West start a school? I like Kanye's songs, but what the fuck does he know about education? Did anybody else see this story about Kanye and Donda Academy that came out last week?
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RTT - A lawsuit filed by former Yeezy and Donda Academy employee Trevor Phillips in Los Angeles claims Ye (formerly known as Kanye West) threatened to lock students in cages.
According to NBC News and Rolling Stone, Phillips also alleges Ye frequently praised Hitler and once compared himself to the Nazi leader ("minus the gas chambers"), simulated masturbation during a one-on-one hotel room meeting, and threatened to punch Phillips during a "temper tantrum."
The lawsuit also accuses Ye of verbally abusing Black staff and treating them "considerably worse than white employees," as well as telling his employees that they could be fired for being "fat." The singer is also alleged to have temporarily delayed payment to workers after his Yeezy bank accounts were frozen.
I mean what the hell. Do you think Kanye just comes home laughing about the shit he gets away with every day? He walks through the front door like "OMG BABE, BABE, BABE!!! You're not going to believe this one. Today I locked the whole 8th grade inside of a cage in the basement. Then I told them they couldn't leave until they each wrote me a 1,000 word book report on Mein Kampf. And they're just doing it. Nobody even questioned me. Nobody tried to stop me. Their parents are paying me SO MUCH money for this. All because I wrote College Dropout. How am I not in jail?!. Did you know I never even bought them lunch tables? These kids are eating sushi off the cold hard floor every day."
I really shouldn't make light of the situation. It's actually very fucked up. But the absurdity of it is laughable. The man is a menace to society. He's like the Joker of rap music. Ok well I guess that's probably Diddy. But honestly, if Kanye isn't just trolling us, and he's really as nuts as we think he is, it's only a matter of time before Kanye ends up in a Diddy situation. A man of Kanye's stature and craziness simply must have a litany of skeletons in his closet. If you saw a headline tomorrow that read, "Kanye West Linked to Russian Mafia, Human Trafficking Ring" Would you even bat an eye? Or would you just think, "Yep, that sounds about right", then move on with your life without bothering to remove Through The Wire from your main playlist.
The man is out of control and keeps getting crazier. But on the bright side, Vultures 1 was a fantastic album. It gets better every time I listen. That's what's most important.
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