SummerSlam, the 2nd biggest PPV of the year, is this Sunday in Brooklyn, live from Barclays Center. This year it is a 4 hour extravaganza, SportsCenter will be broadcasting from outside the arena, and the card is packed with 10 matches, all leading up to the main event of The Undertaker vs Brock Lesnar. Here’s my quick breakdown and prediction for each match. NOTE: I suck at predictions. The only time I was ever positive about a prediction is when HHH beat Sting at Wrestlemania. I was 100% positive of that and everyone called me a jabroni and was like “why would Sting come out of retirement to lose?” Because HHH and WWE always wins vs WCW. So I’ll always hang my hat on that prediction, even if I go 0/10 here.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev – Interesting match. On one hand, you have Ziggler fresh back from shooting a movie, and he always gets huge face pops. On the other hand, his storyline with Lana is beyond terrible. He doesn’t need her, it’s so contrived, and it’s not even humorous when it’s supposed to be. Rusev is the big bad heel who wants to crush Ziggler. And so it begins, my “I don’t know what WWE does in these situations” thinking. But I think Ziggler takes the win here and starts a semi push, but hopefully not because of promos, just because of ability, like how he was before he cashed in MITB.
Team Bella (The Bella Twins and Alicia Fox) vs. Team B.A.D. (Naomi, Sasha Banks and Tamina) vs. PCB (Paige, Charlotte and Becky Lynch) – I get why they are doing this, but I hate that they are doing it. Let the women (fuck calling them “divas”) who are are awesome have matches, and tell everyone else to get better or kick rocks. Should be Sasha and Charlotte should be in singles matches, not in this bullshit with Tamina. There’s no reason PCB shouldn’t win here, anything else wouldn’t make one iota of sense, save for outside interference from Awesome Kong or something ridiculous. Little by little they’ll stop doing these 3 way tag matches and let the superstars shine on their own.
Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro – I love both of these guys more than I love my own family. Kevin Owens lost 2 straight to Cena, so is due for a big win. Cesaro is the new Daniel Bryan- being pushed to the moon by the fans. Cesaro is the best wrestler in the business right now- there’s nothing he can’t do. This match is going to have awesome spots, but it’s hard to say who wins. There are rumors that Vince doesn’t see star potential in Owens, but the same has been said literally out loud about Cesaro. If Cesaro loses yet another big match at a marquee PPV the fans will riot. If Owens loses, then he shows very little credibility. This is one of those situations where it’s like “does Vince listen to the fans and let Cesaro win, or does he give him the Bryan treatment?” An Owens win will be better for promos, so I guess I think he wins. I’m already questioning myself here, because why would they make the same mistake twice? I’m torn. I’ll go first instinct with Owens, but I’m not happy about it.
Stephen Amell and Neville vs. Stardust and King Barrett – An intriguing match with a good build up between talented midcarders, woah. I don’t give a fuck about this Stephen Amell guy or his TV show and don’t think he should be in the match, but whatever. I don’t have tons to say about this match besides I think Neville is the man and want him elevated. That match he had vs Rollins on Raw a couple weeks ago showed he has a ton of potential. Give me the actor and Neville in this one.
The Prime Time Players (c) vs. Los Matadores vs. The Lucha Dragons vs. The New Day – Does anyone have it better than Los Matadores? They cash PPV checks every month because they just happen to be a tag team. I could be one of them and nobody backstage would know the difference. Obviously The New Day are crazy over right now and have to be the favorites to hold the straps. My favorite thing going right now is the is it sounds like most of the crowd now says “New Day rocks” and the broadcast team still pretends the crowd is saying “New Day sucks”. If New Day doesn’t win, I’d be shocked.
Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns – Sooooo, is this our Dean Ambrose heel turn? If he turns on Reigns, will people turn on Ambrose. I’m guessing WWE is banking on that, but I’m not so sure. It’s hard to get people to dislike Ambrose. He’s just so danged likable! And Reigns, he’s sorta over, but not all the way there yet. The easy money is on Ambrose joining Wyatt and Harper, but it’s possible that’s a bit too obvious. But sometimes the obvious still pays off. Let’s just go with that. Gimme Wyatt and Harper (though I really am unsure if a smarky Brooklyn crowd is going to buy a heel turn.)
Ryback (c) vs. Big Show vs. The Miz – I find it hard to hate the Miz. He does everything right. He’s a great heel, and always has been. Him winning the belt here and getting airtime on TV cutting A+ heel promos would be what I want to happen. And it’s unfortunate because I love Ryback. The Big Guy is awesome and a worthy champion. And I think he will one day be WWE champion. Which is why I think he retains, especially because of how popular he is. But if Miz wins, I’ll be happy.
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus – Why are these guys fighting…again? Sheamus isn’t just a heel, he has straight up Xpac heat at this point. I hate seeing his stupid face take up time on TV. The fact he has MITB right now is plain dumb. He’s not a heel that people even like booing, like a Seth Rollins. Sheamus just makes people say “let me know when the Sheamus match is done”. Orton is dope and should win this match. If he doesn’t I’ll still be indifferent because WHY IS THIS EVEN A MATCH? Need an Orton heel turn where he brings back something like the “Legend Killer” gimmick but instead he tries to hold down the up and coming talent. Orton vs Neville or Orton vs Cesaro (culminating in a title shot for Cesaro) would all be great.
John Cena (c) vs. Seth Rollins (c) – US Champion Cena vs WWE Champion Rollins for both belts. Cena going for his 16th world championship, Rollins trying to cement himself at the top of the business. I’ve gone back and forth on this match a million times. Do we get another LOLCena wins? Is WWE done with the heel champion thing for a while? Hard to say. What I do know is not only should Sheamus not have the MITB contract, he sure as fuck better not cash in on Sunday. He has no business being anywhere near this match. I could see outside interference…not really sure from where..ending this in a DQ and Rollins retaining. I’m positive there will be some swerve in this match that I can’t predict. A million different things can happen. My official prediction is Rollins walks out as WWE Champion. Where the US Belt is, I’m not sure.
Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker - So here it is, the main event. Lesnar vs Undertaker. Lesnar ended Taker’s streak at Wrestlemania 2 years ago, and now he’s back for revenge. Since that match, Lesnar has wreaked havoc on the WWE, and has been ultra-entertaining and ass kicking the entire time. It’s not believable that a guy of Undertaker’s age could beat up a beast like Lesnar. But story-line wise, they’ve done a good job of writing it and making it believable. There’s so much backstory, so much history with Undertaker. He’s the Deadman. The Phenom. You don’t simply beat the Undertaker and get away with it. And he’s out for revenge, to kill Lesnar. The match itself will be uber-interesting: Lesnar has been taking everyone he meets to Suplex City. Can’t imagine he’s going to be throwing Undertaker’s AARP ass over his head and risk breaking his neck. Kinda weird to take Lesnar’s signature move out of his repertoire but that’s likely. My prediction is Sting’s music hits and the lights go out. When they come back on Undertaker is on Lesnar’s shoulders, he drops the F5, and gets the pin. It’s certainly possible Taker gets the win setting up the rubber match at Wrestlemania 32, but I’d rather keep Lesnar as the unbeatable monster.
So those are my predictions. Should be a night of good matches, a few surprises, and a great crowd. I’ll be tweeting it over on Twitter if you’d like to join the conversation.