Must One Cover One's Mouth When Yawning?

Frederick M. Brown. Getty Images.

Earlier today, I rode the subway to work. It was crowded, and I stood at the end of the car. Next to me, a tall man leaned against the emergency door—which is expressly prohibited, but it's not the sort of violation for which one scolds another. By nature, I like to remind my fellow citizens to obey the rules of society, but it's important to choose your spots. Too many reminders and you might find a phillips-head screwdriver piercing your kidney which can lead to acute renal failure. It is a painful way to perish and requires an immediate trip to the doctor, though there is debate as to whether one should first remove the tool. My research saw one Quora contributor insisting the screwdriver can act as a sort of plug, while another responded that he was "literally a doctor, and you're wrong" which is not something that doctors should ever say, so the rest of us lost faith and decided it's likely best to remove the screwdriver because that guy didn't beat us over the head with his credentials. 

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A yawn came over me. It was a quick one, summoned from somewhere local. I was reading my book with one hand and using my other hand to hold the rail for stability, so I yawned without covering my mouth. All in, it was probably a four-second yawn. 

But that was more than enough. The guy standing against the door immediately said "hey man, cover your mouth." 

My first instinct was to apologize. It's the subway, where you want to avoid conflict at all costs. But after a few seconds, I thought about it. 

Are we supposed to cover our mouths when we yawn? 

Unlike a cough, it's an intake of breath. Be polite and try to close the barn doors before the inevitable exhale that follows a good yawn. But compared to sneezes and coughs, as far as involuntary mouth actions go, the yawn is by far the least offensive. Unless you're trying to impress someone with a story, or you're teaching someone something. If they yawn while you're in the middle of a story, then you might feel like they are bored. That is rude. But also, tell a more interesting fucking story. I tell long stories so when people yawn while I'm talking, I don't take offense. 

I will always cover a yawn when I don't want someone to think I'm bored or tired of them. Heck, I probably cover most of my yawns when I'm in public without thinking about it. 

But do I HAVE to? 

I did some research. There were a few dense medical articles but nothing that I found to be definitive. I'm sure that etiquette classes or elderly grandmothers who remember segregation fondly would insist that you cover your mouth as a matter of class and courtesy. 

But on the subway? Who in the fuck does this guy think he is? 

I may be wrong. Let me know. And if you made it through this entire blog without yawning once, you are a sociopath and I envy you because feelings are weakness and those who feel for others tend to hit lower ceilings in life.