HOLY FUCK! Some Guy Was Almost Cut In Half By A Runaway 4 Foot Saw Blade In Some Real Life Final Destination Shit

First of all, is it still timely to call outrageous near death experiences like the one our pal Shane just had a Final Destination moment? Based on a quick scroll through IMDb, it appears that the last installment of the franchise was more than a decade ago in 2011. However, a new movie (Final Destination: Bloodlines) is apparently slated to be released in 2025 and I feel like everyone who remembers the original movies still will reference those flicks when there's a close call with the Grim Reaper or if they change lanes to avoid riding behind a lumber truck.

That scene is forever etched in my brain from the commercial for Final Destination because my literal and figurative cream cheese soft ass had no interest in seeing crazy shit like that in the theater. 

Which is why I can't imagine what Shane Reimche is thinking today. I saw that video on the news last night and it was the craziest story of the day about cheating death despite it being shown on Easter Sunday no less! Between the timing of Shane entering the store, the physics of a runaway blade rolling as far as it did, and the force in which it hit the store, it's natural to wonder if some cosmic force had a plan for Shane that allowed him to safely avoid that blade or some cosmic force had a much different plan for Shane that was just a few seconds off. 

Either way, if I were Shane, I'd play the fuck out of whatever lotteries currently have a billion dollar prize still along with some scratch offs, 50/50s, or local games of BINGO available to him because he is the luckiest fuck on the planet right now. And if Shane doesn't want to pay the poor tax known as lottery, he should take a few days off from work and take a vacation to somewhere on his bucket list because it's not often you know you were THAT close to kicking said bucket.