THE UFL IS RISEN! The Opening Weekend Of The UFL Had A Trick Play Where The Punter Threw A 40-Yard Touchdown Pass To An Offensive Lineman And A Game-Winning 64 Yard Field Goal. So Fuck It, I'm In On Another Spring Football League

God dammit man. Every year we get some sort of spring football league. Every year I tell myself I am not going to waste any of my time watching what is essentially minor league football. And every year I get hooked because of some quirky rule, random star player, or crazy play.

This year is apparently no different because I had no clue the new bastard child of the UFL and XFL kicked off yesterday until I checked my Twitter feed in between raiding my kids' Easter candy and was cheering during those two highlights like they were NFL games. If a Big Man Touchdown doesn't get your blood rushing to all the right places, you should call your doctor because you are either dead or want to be dead since Big Man Touchdowns are one of the simple pleasures in life that should make everyone smile.

Doubly so if that Big Man Touchdown was thrown by former NFL punter and adult braces haver Brad Wing, who also sent out a helluva tweet back in the day.

The only thing more impressive than a well-executed trick play touchdown pass thrown by your punter to your O-Lineman is your kickoff specialist kicking a game-winning 64 yard field goal, with the only thing more impressive than that is doing it TWICE because the opposing team tried to ice him. I know there will be hardos out there rolling their eyes at kickers getting love. But anybody that knows ball will tell you that you need a championship-level coach, quarterback AND kicker if you want to see your team raise the Lombardi Trophy in February. 

The Lions clearly know this since they are looking to pounce on Jake Bates' knee caps (in a good way) so Dan Campbell doesn't have to go for it on every big 4th Down and 2 Point Conversion next year thanks to their kicker being absolute cheeks.

I'd love to tell you that I'll be hooked to the UFL all year, but I usually lose interest by the third weekend or so once baseball gets cooking. Then again, based on the way the Mets look so far and the amount of dopamine my brain injects into my body while watching football highlights regardless of league, maybe I will be dabbling in the UFL for a bit longer this year.