The Sunday Scroll: Viral Videos Of The Week
It's Sunday and what better way to waste time and avoid obligations than to mindlessly scroll on your phone.
You're either still in bed, hungover and replaying your questionable decisions from last night, at some God awful Easter brunch and avoiding talking to that one family member or fighting off a bad case of the scaries, but no matter the situation I've got your escape for the next 5 minutes.
Everyone's got a different algorithm nowadays, but what they don't have is access to the Barstool Viral Vault. So I thought I'd do some leg work, pick out some winners from the past week and put them here for your enjoyment.
Welcome to the Sunday Scroll
Parkour!
What is it about kids climbing school buildings? Ask any guy and they'll tell you that at one point or another, they've been on the roof of their elementary/middle/high school. You just paid some guy to buy you a case of beers so what's next? Obviously the next logical step is to head to a spot with overnight security and a tie to your past and climb to new heights without any thought of coming back down.
Buddy made one fatal flaw right from the jump (literally). He never put his crocs in sport mode. The dismount looked decent, he left the top down on the dumpster to take the force, but those ankles broke faster than his face. The cameraman had to have known it was a bad idea, which is why he pulled out his phone but he's not there to give advice, he's there to capture the magic.
Was he trying to put himself through the dumpster? Unclear. Did he put himself in the guillotine? Absolutely.
and was that a tooth??
Spittin' Chiclets approved.
Cannot stress this enough, if you're over the age of 26, it's time to hang it up. You have maybe a three year window after college to do dumb shit and your body will bounce back, but if we're talking athletes in their prime being 27, the average Joe is not the blueprint for those numbers. Nothing will humble you faster than the first time you throw your back out from a sneeze except for maybe this guy who's gotta tell work that he's on the IL for the next 10 months with an ACL tear because he jumped off of a swing at his local park.
Just typing it out makes me think you gotta Jussie Smollett the whole situation cause there's no coming back from that once the story gets out.
The hot head of the group who bitches about ball drops and mulligans, keeps track of everyone's scorecard and thinks every cart girl wants him. Guy's got no idea where anything is headed.
He's been planning it for years and executed to perfection. Great moments are born from great opportunity. Coach Herb Brooks would be proud.
Rarer than a hole-in-one and guaranteed to be brought up anytime you hit the links. Worth the cost of the club? Probably not.
I just imagine the lads re-telling this story with tears in their eyes as they tell everyone their buddy was moaning like a wildebeest.
If your guy group doesn't have a big boy the crew is not complete. You always need the vibes guy. The always down to get a beer guy. The take his shirt off and get some dude sweat going guy.
We all remember our first "don't tell your mom" moment. Right of passage and a core memory. Credit to little buddy for putting the fish first. Raising him right.
We pick dinosaurs, trains or trucks. We may get away from it for a time, but we always come back. Never lose your dinosaur.
Best of the rest from around Al Gore's Internet:
Does this man live in GTA? Gotham? Chicago? He ended up watching three 5-star scenarios unfold right in front of his eyes. Cameraman skills were impeccable. Might want to take those talents far away from there as soon as possible.
Cost per Nut is guy's version of girl math
Your weekly reminder that nature is scary as fuck. Causing tidal waves to kill your prey? Orcas are majestic machines of death.
Did you record a video you think should be featured in next week's Sunday Scroll?
Follow/DM