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Multiple Schools are Suing TikTok, Meta, and Snapchat for $4.5 Billion for "Disrupting Student Learning"

When it comes to popular social media platforms, TikTok, Meta’s Instagram and Facebook, as well as Snapchat, are by far used the most by school-aged kids.

Four Canadian school boards have recognized this, and allege that the websites have disrupted student learning as well as the education system as a whole.

So, they’ve banded together to file a $4.5bn lawsuit against the media giants claiming that they are negligently designed for compulsive use.

“[The websites] have rewired the way children think, behave, and learn, leaving educators and schools to manage the fallout,” it reads.

“It leads to pervasive problems such as distraction, social withdrawal, cyberbullying, a rapid escalation of aggression, and mental health challenges,” said Colleen Russell-Rawlins.

“Therefore, it is imperative that we take steps to ensure the well-being of our youth. We are calling for measures to be implemented to mitigate these harms and prioritize the mental health and academic success of our future generation.”

This comes just days after the US House of Representatives passed a bill that would require TikTok’s parent company ByteDance to sell the short-form video platform to a non-Chinese company — or face a ban in the country.

As if school teachers didn't have enough going against them this day and age. They're asked to wake up at 5:30am(ish) every morning for a job that pays $18,000 per year. Every class period they have 20-30 shit head kids to look after. Shit head kids who they're not only responsible for keeping alive, but are somehow expected to make them sit still and pay attention to painfully boring topics such as how to properly use MLA format, the Pythagorean Theorem, or learning fucking Spanish. It's a borderline insurmountable task. I don't care if you're Socrates, Robin Williams from Dead Poet's Society, or Ohio's Tate, even the best teachers in the world don't bat 1.000 on teaching their students.

And that was true 20 years ago. Nowadays, keeping the attention of students is a whole new beast. Not only does your course material still stink, but students quite literally have the entire world available to them right at their desks. How can a teacher expect a sophomore in high school to pay attention to Geometry when there's riveting content like this in their front right pocket.

"Sorry Mr. Baxter, new Pink Doll dropped so I don't really give a shit what an isosceles triangle is".

But there has to be a way to combat this. Websites like TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook (I still won't say X and Meta) are distracting bright young minds away from  their studies. There must to be a solution. But what is there to do? Harshly punish any student caught with their phone out in class? Check the students phones at the door like they're attending a Dave Chappelle show? Make your lectures more interesting so your students will be inclined to pay attention? Adapt to the times and incorporate apps like TikTok and Instagram into your lesson plans? 

Sorry, sorry, those are insane suggestions. I don't know what I was thinking. Those ideas will never work. Luckily, these 4 schools in Ontario, Canada has come up with the perfect solution to their social media problem - "Give each of our school districts $1 billion dollars."

Giphy Images.

How has nobody thought of this before? What a genius solution. $1 billion dollars is a sure fire way to solve any problem. Just think about your own life. Is your boss a real piece of shit but you have no other options for employment? Are you in the midst of a nasty, nasty divorce? Are your children being held for ransom by the Latin Kings? Now imagine you have $1 billion dollars. Bet those problems aren't such "problems" anymore. 

With $1 billion per district you could purchase every one of your students their own Apple Vision Pro and give lessons virtually. You can pay kid friendly celebrities like Mr. Beast and Bill Cosby to give guest lectures. Or you could simply reward students $1000 every Friday if your students get A's on their weekly quiz. Paying kids for grades works. I promise. My parents did that and look at me now (half drunk blogging on a Thursday night). 

That much money gives you so many options. I'm sure any problem being caused by the allure of social media can easily be fixed by a never ending supply of cash. But jokes aside, I love the strategy by these Ontario school districts. They saw an opportunity, and they took their shot. I'm pretty certain they're not going to cash out for the full $4.5 billion, but as the saying goes, "Shoot for the $4.5 billion moon. If you miss, you'll end up amongst the $3 million stars." 

It's truly a tale as old as time. Find any reason under the sun that somebody may have "wronged you", sue for an unthinkable amount of money, then cash out for sliver of what you asked. Whatever you cash out with is better than nothing. The problem is when you're going up against the worlds most prominent social media companies, that means you're going up against the best lawyers. And these companies have unlimited money to fight this. Of course there's a chance they get paid out just to put an end to this whole thing. But realistically, if they don't want to pay, and decide to use their resources to fight it… you have no fucking chance. They'll drag this out for years. They're gonna lawyer you to death. 

I'll be interested to see how this plays out. I'm cheering for the schools. But also, maybe come up with some more actual solutions if your children are too distracted by their phones. It's literally YOUR job to teach them.