3 Simple Pleasures That Every Man Can Appreciate
LordHenriVoton. Getty Images.You ever wake up and thank God for making you a man? I do. Nothing against women, there's beauty in both genders, but the life of a man is so simplistic. We get fired up over the dumbest shit ever. We can be sitting in the gambling cave for 6 hours, lose all of our bets but the second we see a seasoned vet with a corny shirt you can find at Spencer's our day is made.
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Bored out of your mind watching a college baseball game? Fuck it, someone rip a shoey, let's get the people going.
It's the simple things in life that we as men cherish. We don't need much, if it were up to us every living room in America would look like this:
You give us a lawn chair, a 12 pack of beer and TV that has sports on and we will have the time of our lives.
Here are my 3 favorite simple pleasures as a man: (sex not included)
1. Drunk Nicotine
Thanks, Mook. I'll take it from here. I don't care what anybody says, there is NOTHING better than drunk nicotine. You're at the bar buzzing like a chainsaw and your buddy reaches in his pocket, pulls out a fresh can and goes, "You want one?" You bet your ass I do, you fucking beast. I get chills just thinking about it. Ever since I started throwing pouches on wisdom teeth to numb the pain, I haven't touched a dweeb ass vape, but my God will I disintegrate a cig or a Lucy faster than Tyreek Hill can run a 40. Nothing is better than being wrecked on your balcony, bumming cigs, and telling stories with your boys. If boozing and smoking cigs wasn't the recipe for an early death, I'd do it every day, but that's what makes those moments so special.
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2. Compliments from Your Boy
Don't let them fool you. A compliment from your boy hits way harder than any compliment you'll get from a girl. I don't give a fuck if Dua Lipa looked through my soul and said, "Damn Nicky, you look like a snack." I'd wipe my ass with that compliment in a second if one of my boys said I look fresh. It's a rarity for us guys to compliment each other. We show love by shitting on each other. If I'm not busting your balls, I don't fuck with you, and I believe that's the case for most guys. Which is why when we decide to stop being a prick and give a genuine compliment, it means so much more. Any girl can grease your ego to squeeze free drinks out of you, but you only get so many compliments from your boys, so cherish them.
3. Being on Time
SEBASTIAN KAHNERT. Getty Images.Oh baby, don't get me started. Nothing turns me on more than arriving somewhere on time. I am scarred for life, a byproduct of my dad's obsession with punctuality. If I'm five minutes late, don't even bother talking to me because you'll encounter an attitude you didn't even know existed. I get more anxiety from being late than I do when a girl texts me she's late.
I can't stand people who don't value other people's time. If someone says, "meet me here at 1:00," I'm there by 12:50. If someone says, "meet me here at 1:00," and they show up at 1:15, they're dead to me. The feeling you get when you arrive at the function on time is second to none. Much like the feeling of testosterone leaving your body after you nut, the sensation of anxiety leaving your body when you show up on time is euphoric.