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Prince Harry is Named in the Court Documents Alleging Diddy is Involved in Sex Trafficking

Pool/Tim Graham Picture Library. Getty Images.

You'd think that being anywhere near the top of the line of succession to the throne of England would be a pretty sweet life. A real life, non-fiction fairy tale.Nothing but subjects and servants both bending the knee, anxious to please you in any way possible, hoping to make your life of privilege and comfort just that much privileged and comfortable. 

Now add to that he fact that the royal we're talking about is Prince Harry, a confirmed war hero who put his life on the line:

Giphy Images.

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… so the respect he's gotten is actually earned, not just compelled by his birthright, and you'd be right to assume he's got it good. But goodness gracious, is this guy on a losing streak not seen since the 2015-17 Cleveland Browns. While the rest of the family has spent the last few years dealing with the Queen's passing, the King's coronation, the affairs of state, and health scares, Harry and Meghan Markle have been taking one L after another:

That's just scratching the surface. It would be unfair to pin all of this on Markle, but it's hard not to look at Harry's life ever since they jumped the broom and not see a pattern. She might not be the cause of all the slings and arrows he's suffered. But that's not to say she's not just bad luck. A Jonah, if you will. 

Hell, it's at the point for this guy where one of the most recognizable entertainment figures of his generation can't get his house raided by Homeland Security on suspicion of human sex trafficking and flee the country on his PJ:

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… without Harry's once impeccable name being dragged into it:

Source - Prince Harry’s name has appeared in court documents against Bad Boy Records founder Sean “Diddy” Combs.

Producer Rodney “Lil Rod” Jones filed a $30 million lawsuit against the music mogul, 54, last month, citing that he participated in acts such as sexual misconduct, grooming and sex trafficking, the Post can confirm.

According to the docs, Jones claimed that the Duke of Sussex, 39, and other A-listers’ “affiliation” added to Diddy’s “legitimacy.” …

The court papers do not suggest that Harry was involved in any wrongdoing or criminal activity in conjunction with Diddy. 

The UK royal is not a defendant nor has he been incriminated. His moniker also only appears once in the documents. …

Harry and his estranged brother, Prince William, crossed paths with the Notorious B.I.G. hype man and rapper Kanye West in 2007. 

The hip-hop stars performed at the Concert For Diana at Wembley Stadium at the time. 

The emphasis there is mine. Because it cannot be stressed enough that Harry is not accused of any wrongdoing or criminal activity, is not a defendant and has not been incriminated. I say that for the reader's benefit. And to make our lawyers happy. But most of all to satisfy the happy couple who threatened to sue South Park for making fun of them. 

Giphy Images.

So let me repeat, he's not named in this court filing for doing anything wrong. So please let me keep working here, Your Royal Majesties. 

Giphy Images.

Still, this has got to be a kick in the ginger pubes for this poor bastard. I mean, first his uncle Andrew is sent into virtual exile by the King for being one of Jeffrey Epstein's most popular clients and probably having the most Frequent Flyer miles racked up on the Lolita Express. Now Harry's dragged into this Diddy mess. Is it too much to ask that a rich pervert (allegedly) can get accused of human trafficking and NOT have a Royal involved?

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As if he hasn't been cucked enough already. He and Meghan are arguably the most image-conscious celebrities on Earth. They have to know that people don't read much beyond the headline. They understand how distracted and low-info most of us are in this Attention Deficit world. And now he's got the stench of Diddy's scandal in his beard. Just as Meghan has launched another one of those vapid, narcissistic projects of hers. A pretentious lifestyle brand, or another crack at hosting a cloying, supercilious podcast that's all about her uninteresting personal journey. Now her fawning public is going to associate her husband with a suspected pedophile who's on the lam from federal authorities. Which can't be good for business. Especially when your business is selling yourself. 

I never thought I'd be saying this, but I do feel bad for the guy. This Diddy business is one situation he didn't bring on himself. Maybe the lesson here is that Royals just need to stop trying to be friends with rich, famous people. Just stay in their castles, live their fantasy lives of being considered better than everyone else thanks to superior bloodlines, sleep with any of the millions who are dying to be part of your insulated little world, and just enjoy being part of a fairy tale. It has to be better than whatever this is.