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Roger Goodell Says Fuck You To The NBA And To The Calendar: The NFL Is Playing On Christmas Wednesday This Year

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO!! This past year, with Christmas Eve falling on a Sunday and Christmas Day having a triple header, was one of the most magical holidays of my life. And although I enjoyed every single second of it, I was sad when it was over because I figured it was a once in a decade type of thing. Because upon looking at my framed 2024 SI Swimsuit Calendar, I discovered that Christmas fell on a Wednesday the following December, and I knew that I would have to focus on friends and family instead of gambling and fantasy football next year. Well, that is until Roger Goodell stepped in and said two things:

1. I don't give a fuck about the calendar anymore. We'll play football when we want to play football, and I want to play football on Christmas Day.

2. I don't give a fuck about the NBA. They USED to own Christmas, but I am the Captain now.

There's some delusional people on the internet right now saying this was a bad move by the NFL, as people will watch the NBA over this standalone game, and those people need to be checked into a mental institution. The NFL could have played a game at 10:00 on the morning of 9/11 and it would've drawn bigger rating than the news channels. So if the NBA has any brains whatsoever, they call up Goodell this morning and say, what time slot do you want? We'll schedule around it.

A perfect day for me would be:

10:00 am - NBA Game

12:00 pm - NBA Game

2:00 pm - NBA Game

4:00 pm - NFL Game 

7:00 pm - NBA Game

9:00 pm - NBA Game

….and the football game has to be a Color Rush matchup, right? On the upcoming 2024 schedule, we have Jets vs. Bills, Seahawks vs. Cardinals, and 49ers vs. Packers all on the docket. I don't need to tell the NFL how to get ratings, but a nice Christmas Color Rush would be fun to watch.

Okay, the PG-13 part of the blog is over. This next graphic is for Mature Audiences Only. I already have a boner just looking at it:

Happy Holidays, everyone!! Remember to call a doctor if your erection lasts more than 24 hours.