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Sydney Sweeney Says She Needs 2 Hours Of Sleep A Night And Has Never Tried Coffee

It's been a bad few weeks for me as the local Sydney Sweeney reporter here at Barstool Sports. It seems other bloggers have figured out the formula, y = mx (or) b to pageviews. Option 1: Eviscerate your colleague, come at them with the death by 1000 words, potentially leading to an increase in Twitter followers or Reddit comments about how "goated" you are. Option 2: Write about Sydney Sweeney. I've opted out of the first, simply because I'm trying to believe in a utopia of flowers and everyone getting along. Wishful thinking.

I haven't however given up on my Spider Y 2 Banana/tush push strategy. I've just been late to the party a few times. It's simple. Find what's on Sydney's mind, add a couple of pictures, remind everyone she's a queen, and then go on your merry way with hundreds of thousands of pageviews. It may be patched one day but today is not that day.

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I also think Sydney might either be a genius or have geniuses in her camp. She's everywhere. If anyone else says they only get two hours of sleep, we just say well look on the bright side, you could be Glenny who once stayed up for 16 hours straight:

That was unprovoked and I don't want to do option 1 so let's move on. Some people may take this as a sign to get off the Sydney Sweeney train when she said she doesn't drink coffee:

But I'm on her side. I may even stop drinking coffee and whenever Ramadan ends I may just cut it from my life entirely. I always thought I'd meet someone of Sydney Sweeney's beauty in a coffee shop as I scroll Twitter for blog topics on my phone in the guise of a Colleen Hoover book to make it look like I'm intelligent. But something's gotta give if she's only getting two hours of sleep and has the routine of an Instagram model trying to make it big:

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SOURCE: “I sleep however many hours I get in a night, but I’m known for being able to function off of very, very little for a very long amount of time,” she told WSJ after being asked about a rumor that she can run on two hours of sleep.

When asked about her breakfast routine, she added, “I’ve never tried coffee before. I just drink water. For breakfast, I like a berry bowl. Maybe some granola, bacon, a croissant, but I always go to berries.”

In the interview, the actress said she liked “full-body high-intensity” workouts like SolidCore, though “it’s been killing my ass,” and that she usually wakes up at 7:30 a.m. every morning.

Full body high intensity training instead of coffee? Berry bowl and granola? It's worth a try. I'll let you know how it goes.

And here's the final part of that script I was talking about earlier:

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Go Sydney go.