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Dumping Them Out: Boob GIF Madness

Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out, March Madness 1st Weekend Edition. 

I'm currently watching Purdue-Utah State. Once again I must point out that Zach Edey is the least talented player on the entire court. Tall is not a skill. To be 7'4" and spend 4 years in college is one of the most cowardly things I've ever seen. He's truly doing the bare minimum with what god gave him. Can't stand that guy. This game will probably be close to over by the time this blog is posted, but I hope Utah State wins by 30 so I don't have to watch that talentless tree anymore #tallisnotaskill 

(also whoever made the tournament schedule so that Purdue is the only game playing right now is cruel. It's like they're actively trying to kill the sport)

I wrote a blog on Thursday about things to say when watching college basketball with your friends if you don't actually know anything about college basketball but just want to sound smart. In that blog I posed a new play. A type of basketball play that I've never seen done intentionally, but I swore would work. The gist of it is, somebody takes a 3-pointer, and intentionally misses the rim a foot to the side. Then have your big man camp out underneath the ball and put it back up for an easy 2 (don't say I just invented the alley oops it's different than an alley hope because it's disguised as a shot).

Anyways, everybody told me I was fucking stupid. But look what happened last night in the Creighton-Oregon game.

I'm an offensive genius. And considering this play was executed by 2 white players from Creighton University, I'm going to go ahead and say there's a non-zero chance they read my blog and designed a play based off of it. My basketball mind very well may have contributed to Creighton's win. 

In the Barstool Sports Bracket Busters #DaveandBUSTERS this year, I have Grand Canyon. Obviously if you follow Barstool you've seen people tweeting about the contest incessantly. Everyone is trying to come up with some sort of creative way to tweet about their team. Luckily with Grand Canyon whenever I don't have anything to say I can just tweet a photo of a random family on a Grand Canyon vacation. That always buys me another couple hours. 

Tonight Grand Canyon is playing Alabama. Alabama's nickname is the Crimson Tide (i.e. red water), so naturally their mascot is an elephant. I want it on the record that I COULD have tweeted a picture of the Jimmy John's owner giving a big happy thumbs up next to a dead elephant that he shot to death. I even could have slapped a Grand Canyon logo on Jimmy John's face. But I decided that would be in bad taste. I think it's a general rule of thumb that you shouldn't tweet dead animals. Especially if the animal was killed by a human in a trophy hunting situation. Althought it's not like people stopped eating Jimmy John's sandwiches once we found out Jimmy John spent his free time murdering wild animals in the Serengeti. But I'm better than that… I guess… but I mean.. the elephant is already dead. It's not like…,, ok never mind. I'm done. There are no dead animals or Nazi's on the blog. I see that rule posted a top the back end of our site every day #ThankYouNate

Speaking of Grand Canyon, they continue to be the most fun team in the tournament. I'm also wildly intrigued by everything about their school. For one, they're a full 222 miles away from the Grand Canyon. That's a fun fact. Also, when I first blogged about them, I was hit with a handful of comments condemning them for being a "for profit Christian school". People were comparing them to Liberty University. But first of all, get out of here with the "for profit school" like that's something to be looked down upon. Every school is a for profit school. Yeah, technically Ohio State is a "not-for-profit" university. But that's so stupid. You mean Ohio State doesn't do the things they do for money? That's fucking insane. Every school is trying to make a profit whether they're technically classified as "for profit" university or not.

Also, with the Liberty comparisons. I know Liberty has all of these crazy rules in regulations. They're a dry campus. They have early curfews every night. Girls aren't allowed anywhere near the boys dorms. It sounds like a fucking prison. Now maybe Grand Canyon has some similar rules, but after watching this video posted by Grand Canyon's Barstool account, they seem to be as fun as a school as any.

They also appear to be 50% underwater at all time. I'm not a religious guy, so I would never go there. But if for some reason I had to, I'm pretty sure I'd have a blast just like I would at 90% of other universities.

We hoop at GCU #Lopes