The Easiest Way To Get A Blowjob In 1999 Was To Wear This Hat - Illinois vs. Morehead State (LIVE BLOG)

Carl3/21/2024 7:05 PM

Couple minutes from tip and never a better time for the old live blog.

Specifically: I’m not a huge scouting report guy. Never really have been and I don’t particularly care to start now.

That said I got a huge problem with Illinois having to play the king of the 3-bar hat.

The year is 1999. You’re super cool and thanks to Bill Clinton, blowjobs are back on the menu. Chances are you own a Moorehead hat with an equal chance of getting It stroked most weekends. Life is good. Your social identity can be as simple as the funny Moorehead guy and I'm not joking. That was a position you could actively fill. So shout out Morehead State for giving out all those blowjobs to the needy.

Now prepare to get butt fucked on National TV. Or just regular fucked. You can pick or we can flip a coin. Either way there is nothing you can do to stop the University of Illinois from scoring 100 points today. That's a fact and good facts make good cases.

The case I present to you today is that Illinois wins by a lot. Which reminds me - I need to blog the Illinois/Arizona Full Game pretty soon. Thanks for the heads up.

Let's go kick some ass.