Nobody Will Buy Dan Snyder's Haunted Mansion Despite Him Dropping The Price From $49 Million to $34.9 Million

Al Pereira. Getty Images.

Been a minute since I was able to use that picture and I gotta say, I sorta miss it. I don't miss him, oh god no. I hate Dan Snyder more than I hate anyone in the world. But man did I master the art of the Dan Snyder blog. I guess it's one of those "10,000 hours" things, I guess if I spent more time in the gym and finding hobbies and less time blogging about Dan Snyder I wouldn't be a 35 year old fat bald virgin, but on the other hand, those pageviews will live on forever, so it's a wash.

But anyway, this fucking guy Dan Snyder. He's gone from our lives and things have never been better. The Commies just crushed free agency and are about to pick the next great hall of fame QB with the 2nd overall pick. And the cherry on top? Dan Snyder is still taking L's (as much as one can after selling the team for $7 billion): 

Let's take a look at how it started:

Anddddd how it's going:

Womp, womp, womppppppppp. As the kids say, "ya hate to see it". A class 33% decrease in price and still no bidders. Nobody wants to live in that haunted mansion. Who knows what sort of sick, twisted, depraved shit went on in there. Hell, he might have signed the Albert Haynesworth contract in those halls! Who would risk living in a place haunted by that???

So now the place is completely off the market. As I said above, it's hard for someone with $7 billion in the bank to take an L financially, so as haters we'll take what we can get. He's a loser in every way outside of money though, which brings me joy. Like sure, being mega-rich is great, but we're all human and we all know deep down inside he is a miserable fuck, a stain to society, and the worst thing to ever happen to the NFL since Ray Rice stepped into an elevator. The less Dan Snyder in the news the better, but if I can find any reason to call him a piece of shit loser, I'll do it.

PS: I wish I had unlimited money so I could buy his house, bulldoze it like Forrest Gump did to Jenny's childhood house, and then replant the trees. Yes, replant the trees. What does that mean? Well when he moved in, Dan paid a bunch of money to have trees removed so he could see the river from his back yard. The thing is the trees were on National Park land, and the Park Ranger who raised concerns about it was then raided by US Marshalls. And now I'm just going down a rabbit hole of all the shitty things he did. God, fuck this guy. Such a miserable fuck.