A Mascot Game Should Be Required at Every Conference Tournament

I'm generally a small government guy, but the federal government needs to mandate mascot games be played on each day of every Division I conference basketball tournament beginning next year. Quit fucking around with TikTok and make some real positive change in this country.

At most conference tournaments, you'll get that quick change couple or those dogs that catch frisbees if you're really lucky. Meanwhile in the MAAC, you get to watch Brother Jasper pull up and drain a three in Boomer the Bobcat's mouth. I'm glad some leagues still know how to provide entertainment value.

Even in major conference tournaments, you have at least one night exclusively reserved for dogshit basketball teams. I'd pay good money to go watch Vanderbilt and Arkansas if you told me the SEC mascots would be playing 5-on-5 at halftime. Make this happen everywhere.