You Know It's March When All Of America Has Fallen In Love With A Big Fella, Who Simply Gets Buckets And Destroys Duke

We can make fun of Duke losing, but what's the point? This Duke team is soft and they lose now. It's just who they are under Jon Scheyer. Good news is they didn't fake an injury, scold the opposing team or try to trip anyone. Baby steps in March! Oh no, the real story is everyone falling in love with NC State's DJ Burns. 

Lance King. Getty Images.

The big fella has taken over a company who is built on the bellies backs of some units. Don't believe me? Our resident snack god is ready to go back to school, attend NC State and share some of the finest ziti with Burns. 

John Rich, a man who eats like a disgusting human, knows everything about snacks yet somehow is skinny (I think we know how) has fallen in love. 

Big Cat properly referring him to big guy

And on and on we go. But the best part? DJ Burns knows the deal: 

Advertisement

Body like Zach Randolph is an incredible thing to say out loud. He's been around forever. He was at Tennessee as a redshirt then dominated at Winthrop and now at NC State the last couple years. He's sneaky gotten bigger too, which just makes him even more awesome. 

Mitchell Layton. Getty Images.

This is how I know it's March. Everyone is starting to tune in to college basketball and we all find guys we love. DJ Burns is that guy. We need NC State to steal a bid, only shot they have to get in the NCAA Tournament is winning the ACC Tournament. They get Virginia or Boston College in the semis, so it's not … crazy? Fuck it, let's get weird. 

The other thing? Burns is good! 

Sure he can't play 40 minutes, but the man has incredible footwork and decent touch. Good luck stopping him when he gets going downhill. All I know is if NC State can survive this fuckery, surely they have a shot. 

Advertisement

We're all Wolf Pack tomorrow. 

PS: Shout out Escalade (RIP) for being the GOAT big fella hooper. Still can't believe he's Mark Jackson's brother.