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Heist Of The Century: Someone Stole All The Jaromir Jagr Bobbleheads The Pittsburgh Penguins Were Going To Give Out At Tonight's Game

Eliot J. Schechter. Getty Images.

NHL -- The Pittsburgh Penguins announced today that the shipment carrying the Jaromir Jagr bobbleheads for tonight’s game against the San Jose Sharks has been stolen after its arrival in California. As a result, the bobbleheads are not in Pittsburgh and will not be distributed at tonight’s game, but will be distributed at a later date.

The Penguins learned that they were victims of cargo theft after failing to receive the shipment as scheduled. The team worked with the manufacturer and transportation companies to alert the appropriate state and federal authorities who are currently working to locate the cargo. This is an open investigation and no further comment will be made in order to not hamper with the recovery of the goods.

Someone get Danny Ocean on the line because we have a new Heist God running the streets. Whoever ended up getting their hands on this shipment just got set up for life. This is that "final job" that career criminals dream about. The type of job that gets you out of the lifestyle for good and now you can just live a kick ass life on some island somewhere. 

You figure just one of these Jaromir Jagr bobbleheads has to be worth a few thousand dollars. It's a must-have item for any collector. We're talking one of the biggest legends to ever grace athletic competition. An all-time stallion both on and off the ice. I'd go ahead and say that one of these bobbleheads would be priceless, but I'm sure someone out there has a number. And then you figure, what, there had to be at least 15-20,000 of them in this shipment? I'm not mathematician, but that has to be a hundred million dollar heist. 

I guess the only downside is how to you unload something like this? The international police is probably on high alert looking for anybody selling Jagr bobbleheads now. You can't risk selling them individually and have someone end up ratting you out. But then you need to find a buyer who has all the money in the world to be able to pay proper value for a shipment of that magnitude? Or maybe you just hold onto them forever because you can never have enough Jaromir Jagr bobbleheads in your life. Either way, I can't imagine this is the last we've heard about the case of the missing Jagr bobbleheads. This will be a national story for days and weeks to come. 

Sidenote: I'll tell ya who did it. It was that damn sasquatch.