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Props To Gerrit Cole For Not Channeling His Inner Randy Johnson On This Weirdo Reporter/Paparazzi Guy At LAX And Knocking Him Out Cold

Elsa. Getty Images.

In general, the paparazzi are a terrible hang. LA paparazzi though, are an extra special breed. They'll stop at nothing to get a clip. If it means kidnapping your dog to get you out of the house they'll get it done. There is no line. 

Enter Gerrit Cole, who is having a TOUGH week. The man just flew across the country to meet with the grim reaper of elbow MRIs and this is his welcoming party? 

I understand it's how they make a living and part of the gig is doing whatever you can to get the exclusive photo or video, but can you get a fucking clue dude? Do you want to die? Is that the true goal here? You annoy a $300M pitcher enough that you bait him into assault and a lawsuit. Awesome. 

Hate the Yankees and Cole all you want, but that's legit psychopath behavior to follow him around and getting that close. Thought for a second he was gonna get in the elevator with him. 

Gerrit Cole is a better man than me. Now this is totally me fantasizing a moment like Billy wishing he was on a plane with a terrorist he needs to thwart, but if I was Cole and that bum dropped a, "how's that arm," right next to the elevator I would have picked him up with two hands and tossed him against the wall hard enough to shatter all of his bones. The fact that he didn't go full Randy Johnson on that guy is so impressive. Not a judge in the world who finds him guilty for knocking that lunatic out cold. 

 I imagine that was his chauffeur walking ahead of him so it's not exactly in the job description to be a body guard, but give me something man. Can we at least park closer to the gate so we don't have to walk out in the open with these creatures roaming around? 

Side note: After searching for the infamous video of Randy Johnson hitting the cameraman while walking the streets of New York, I'm convinced he had it scrubbed from the internet. Either that or he solely became a photographer himself to have that come up and not the video. Either way, it's impressive how he made that footage vanish. All I've got is this picture.