Oppenheimer Won Best Picture And It Might Be Time To Stop Letting Old People Give Out The Award

We've completed another year of movies, and OPPENHEIMER comes out on top as Champion after just dominating the award season and winning everything. I could sit here and wax poetic for day about how I think OPPENHEIMER is one of the best movies ever made, and probably a leading candidate to take the title of Best Movie of the 21st Century (so far). While I caught some mild fake internet movie heat for giving it a 100-out-of-100, the longer I've sat on calling it perfect, the more I believe it. This movie is a true masterpiece, and ever-deserving of the top prize of the year. I couldn't be happier to see Robert Downey Jr., Christopher Nolan, Emma Thomas, and Cillian Murphy, win their first Oscars. The achievement of this movie, on every level, is quite astonishing.

But, while I could go on, and on about the movie, I feel as though we have to tackle something more important:

We must stop letting old people give out Best Picture.

This is not Al Pacino hate, and I need that to be very clear.

But what the fuck are we doing putting him in this spot? He was a little shaky off the top when he got on stage, and then it became clear the nominees weren't going to be read, which felt pretty strange. I can't recall them never failing to read the nominees, and I wonder if Pacino accidentally skipped over doing so. Then, out of nowhere, he utters the words, "My eyes see Oppenheimer." Skipping over the iconic "and the Oscar goes to" line is a bit unorthodox, but I don't believe this was how they expected it to play out.

You can hear him pause, then read the names on the card after the audience finally reacts, only for him to mutter "what happened?" at the very end. A total mess! We couldn't have at least had someone accompany him on stage!? You could clearly see him struggle to open the card, and get through the moment. They left him up there all on his own! 

Hmmm. If only we had some sort of... past... moment... that would suggest we make sure to delicately handle this moment...

Why is it that every time Emma Stone wins Best Actress they fuck something up moments later for Best Picture. Never forget Warren Beatty throwing Faye Dunaway under the bus and making her read the card.

Honoring Al Pacino is great! But he's also fucking 83 years old! I know the man is still acting, but this is live television. He's still got it, I am sure, but let's not pretend he is in his Dunkaccino era…

Now poor Al, an iconic figure in Hollywood, has to have this moment slapped on the end of his career. Granted it's no LA LA LAND vs. MOONLIGHT debacle, but it's still a bit of an on stage fumble.

But, you can't really expect The Academy to make perfect decisions every year! Just like how they honored stunt coordinators and performers tonight, which was nice, but something they could do every single year by… gasp!… handing out an award for the category.

The Oscars were fine this year, and I don't think it felt overly long, or terrible, it just wasn't anything crazy memorable. Hands down the best part was Ryan Gosling performing "I'm Just Ken" with a special appearance from Slash…

I think it's time we move on from Jimmy Kimmel. If you like him, that's fine, I am rather indifferent, but how many times can the man host!? What about John Mulaney next year?

As for my main point, let's get back to it: no more old people handing out Best Picture. In the least, give them someone on stage as a crutch in case they need it. We don't need anyone screwing up giving DUNE: PART TWO Best Picture next year!