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Mintzy Flew To New Orleans To Go To A Friend’s Wedding, But Ended Up Crashing The Wrong Wedding, And At This Point I Am Convinced He’s Not Real, and Is A Spy Who Was Sent To Infiltrate Barstool Sports

Ok I’ve come to the conclusion that as much as I thought I loved Ben, he’s not real. He’s a spy sent here by somebody to infiltrate Barstool Sports. This is all a long con. A modern day, real life Keyser Söze. 

There’s just no other way to explain him at this point and I refuse to believe otherwise until he takes a lie detector test.

P.s. - a real one woulda found the closest thing to Jane Seymour and took her down. Rawr