Full Graphing Breakdown And Awards For The 2024 NFLPA Survey
Today is by far my favorite day of the NFL offseason. NFLPA Survey Day! I cleared my schedule this morning to channel my inner Stanley Hudson and CRUNCH the data like a hot pretzel.
To celebrate, let's give out some awards for a few notable results.
"LOL We Don't Give A Fuck About No Player Survey" Award (Kansas City Chiefs)
Five out of the top six teams in overall score made the playoffs last year making it really important for teams to take this survey seriously unless they just so happen to be interested in winning the Super Bowl. Seriously, what happened here Kansas City?
Get your microscope because we're honing in on the "Owner" category. That little dark brown log aptly represents the F- which was transformed into a 1 for graphing purposes. Clark Hunt is the only owner to get an F- this year which makes me think he must miss Dan Snyder. Has he been shielded from the criticism he deserves? Seems like it. From what I read he evidently agreed to renovate the locker room after their 2022 Super Bowl season. Here's how that went from this SI article:
“When they returned this season—after winning the Super Bowl—only new chairs were added. Players were told they ’went too far in the playoffs’ and they didn’t have time to renovate.”
What a quote. I don't know what to tell the Chiefs players here except that they didn't learn their lesson. At this point, it's kinda on them for literally being a victim of their own success. But if there's one thing ownership can do it's beef up their Nutrition/Dietician game after being the only team giving it an F-. I mean literally. Beef it up. You gotta believe Andy Reid is sneaking in some surveys to get cheeseburgers on the daily.
"Best Performing Owner With the Same Last Name As A Food Company" Award (Bob Kraft)
Uh oh Patriots fans. After losing the Brady or Belichick debate, Bill B seems to be winning the Bill vs the organization debate. Not a great look for fans coming to terms with Belichick being the problem and not the organization.
"Surprise Team of the Year" (Washington Commanders)
Congratulations are in order for the Washington Commanders. 31/32 overall which can be considered a drastic improvement from 2023:
"Better than the champs!*" IN 2024 NFLPA Survey
Hang it proud. Edged out KC by pretty much a minus sign. Looking forward to Magic Johnson's thoughts on all this in mid-June.
Most Improved (Jacksonville Jaguars)
No team moved up more spots from 2023 than the Jaguars who climed 21 teams. The Eagles were next with 11 which is kind of a surprise given how much a cluster that team was last year. Big Dom must have held that group together man.
As for the Jags. How'd they do it? New weight room baby! They went from a 2023 survey numeric score of 4,4, and 6 in locker room, training room, and weight room (respectively) to a 13, 13, 14 which is pretty much going from a D to an A-. Plus their "Treatment of Familes" score DOUBLED from a 2 (F) to a 4 (D-) which can be advertised as a good thing.
NFL Heirarchy of Needs Award (Coaches)
Instead of rating teams, I whipped up which categories performed the best which can be argued is ordered about how'd you'd expect some Maslow's heirarchy of needs graphic. The only exception is the owner which as we already learned from Clark Hunt is not super vital.
Let's go through the rest in order though. You definitely need a good coach to win in the NFL. Both in terms of coaching games and gains. You also need a place to get those gains. A training staff to support the gains slightly outweighs the dieticians to keep you properly fueled even if it's to Andy Reid's chagrin. But wait? What food are you going to eat and where? Ah ha. Hello "Food/Cafeteria" category. Next is the locker room which is a simple cosmetic but slightly more important than travel accommodations. I read some families were frustrated with the travel notices being so short but as the final bar of the needs chart clearly shows: fuck them families.
Might have to go a round two tomorrow on this.
LOVE NFLPA Survey Day!