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Colorado State TE Dallin Holker Has Moved To The Top Of My Draft Board After Catching A Football With His Right Hand While Holding Another In His Left Hand Because He Thought The Gauntlet Drill Was Over

Now THAT is how you separate yourself from the gaggle of superfreaks that are entering the NFL to play tight end these days. Sure Sam LaPorta put up numbers of an 8 year vet as a rookie, Trey McBride looked like an NFL Blitz player while snagging a bazillion targets, and David Njoku has developed into the type of receiving tight end that could help Joe Flacco win Comeback Player of the Year over a guy who literally came back from the dead. But you know what none of those guys did? Catch two balls at once during their gauntlet drill.

I know the haters will say Dallin should've known he had one more football left to go in the gauntlet drill. But we just saw yesterday in the Mintzy vs. Klemmer Combine how hard it is to keep track of where even one football is coming from during the gauntlet drill.

Those haters will also try to poo poo that you would never see two footballs thrown during a game situation. But how do you know that? Goodell has done everything in his tyrannical power to make the game more offense friendly. Who's to say that he won't look to bump up scoring in hopes of getting every NFL game on a different streaming service by throwing another pigskin onto the field? I'd rather have a guy on my team ready to catch two footballs than a guy who isn't. Doubly so if the guy looks like an absolute dude, which Dallin registers as a 5 on the Balls Scale.

So if you want a tight end that can catch, doesn't lose his head when things go awry like they do in pretty much every play where you have aliens playing every position, and came through in his team's biggest game of the season, Dallin Holker is your guy.

P.S. The NFL needs to add pools to the Combine ASAP because everyone that has ever been to a pool party knows this is true.

We can also do drills for the big fellas in the trenches.

Or use it for the skills competitions at the Pro Bowl.

Or do new drills at the next Barstool Combine/Mintzy vs. Klemmer 2. Actually now that I think about it, I'll be SHOCKED if there isn't a full Olympic-sized swimming pool at the Chicago Office before Opening Ceremonies of this year's Summer Olympics.