Barstool Golf Time | Book Tee Times At The Best Prices & Earn RewardsDOWNLOAD NOW

Can we add another set of douchebags to the list?

There is an undefined list of despicable people that are often discussed on this blog.  It includes people who talk in movie theatres, people who try to rush out of the plane as soon as it reaches the gate (even though they are seated waaaaay back in Seat 28B), and Democrats.

I don't know who's in charge of this list, but I nominate Dante because he "angry types" better than anyone I know.

Giphy Images.

Steven Cheah passive-aggressively mentioned another candidate for the list when he posed a question on Twitter last week about window shades in planes…

For the record, I don't care about the "front vs back window shade ownership" question, I think ALL adults who are flying should ALWAYS keep their shade firmly closed during flights.  If you are traveling with kids who want to see clouds for the first time, feel free to open them for a couple of minutes.  Otherwise, just fucking close the shade and give your fellow passengers a chance to sleep, asshole.

But getting away from airplanes, I'd like to add another group of people to this list… Parking lot animals.

For those of you who do not drive, you may not know what infraction is being perpetrated in the picture above.  But for those who do, it is infuriating.

What is it about packed shopping mall parking lots that causes people to lose all perspective of how much space their vehicle takes up?

This little piece of shit Volkswagen is clearly 2 feet over the line at the front of his space, making it nearly impossible for anyone (me) with a full-sized SUV to park in front of him nose-to-nose.

Conversely, anyone looking for a parking spot in the row this VW is in might be fooled into thinking from afar there is a vacancy, only to be disappointed when, upon closer inspection, the spot is being taken up by a tiny Nazi-built auto that is tucked in over the line beneath his front bumper. 

Motorcycles do a similar move… Bikers tend to park closer to the inside line, giving people desperately searching for a space the unnecessary illusion that there is a free spot… When instead, they could simply park closer to passing traffic and remove all the mystery.

I'll keep going… Some people inexplicably park over either sideline, making it impossible for the car next to them to open their door.

Or people who are done shopping and return to their parked car in a packed lot, but decide to "collect their thoughts" in the front seat for 10 minutes while their car is running and someone is patiently waiting (with their blinker on) to jump into their empty spot.

And I will mention only one more (but feel free to nominate others), and that is the douche who not only refuses to return his shopping cart but leaves it firmly in the middle of a vacant spot that is now unnecessarily "taken."

There's nothing you can do to remedy this phenomenon… Stupid is always gonna stupid… But in the spirt of being more proactive than reactive, there is one thing that has made me feel better.  

I ordered these cards which I keep in my glove compartment, and every time I see an infraction that steams my broccoli, I leave a card on that car's windshield.

Here's a closeup of the product in action…

Give it a try… And then key the SHIT out of someone.

Take a report.

-Large