Advertisement

A Journalist Who Got Scammed Into Handing Someone a Shoebox Containing $50K Swears She's Not Stupid and That This Could Happen to You

I had never been more excited to read anything than this article after seeing it pop up on my timeline. I clicked that link faster than I'd done anything in my entire life. And to say it lived up to my wildest expectations would be an understatement.

This was the funniest thing I've ever read in my life and there isn't a close second.

You absolutely have to read the entire thing for yourself as there's way too much to be able to put here, but the SparkNotes version is this woman received a call from someone claiming to be from Amazon asking if she had recently purchased MacBooks and iPads. When she said she hadn't, she was transferred to an "FTC agent" who told her there were warrants for her arrest in Maryland and Texas after bank accounts in her name had wired more than $3 million to Jamaica and Iraq and rental cars in her name had been found at the Mexican border with drugs inside. She then spoke to a slew of "agents" from different three-letter agencies, all of whom had different accents and told her that she couldn't tell her husband about this and if she got a lawyer, her house would be raided and they'd no longer cooperate with her — you know, the things federal agents say.

And then long story short, she withdrew $50,000 from the bank and handed it through a car window to an "undercover CIA agent" — who she was assured could not carry a badge, as he was undercover, duh — and told that she would receive a Treasury check for the same amount the following day under a new Social Security number while the investigation was being handled.

To be honest, I do feel almost slightly bad for this woman after reading the story again. She's out $50,000 because of someone else's nefarious deeds and those people knew information about her that would definitely scare most people. But, like ... you handed it to them in a shoebox thinking the CIA was coming to your door to pick up $50K so they could write you a check for it. You don't have to be a Mensa member to not do that.

And while the woman who tweeted this isn't the author, this post sent me over the edge. I was laughing hysterically.

Andy Cohen?!?! Am I to understand the implication here is that if they can get Andy, they can get anybody?! He's the gold standard in the United States for unscammable people?!

I don't want anyone to get scammed out of their hard-earned money. I'd just add that not handing shoeboxes full of cash through car windows to alleged CIA agents would also be a good way to prevent that.