VIDEO: NYC Subway Performer Smashed Over Head With Bottle

NY Post - Shocking video shows the moment a woman randomly whacked a musician with a metal water bottle in a rush-hour attack at a Midtown transit hub — the last straw that prompted the cellist to suspend his subway performances “indefinitely.”

Iain. S. Forrest, 29, was sitting on a stool passionately playing the instrument in the 34th Street-Herald Square station around 5:45 p.m. Tuesday when the assailant approached him out of nowhere, according to cops and a video the victim posted on X. 

She suddenly picks up Forrest’s own water bottle off the ground, clobbers him with it and then callously storms off without saying a word, according to the clip shared Wednesday.

Who among us hasn't found themselves in the shoes of this violent bottle swinging straphanger. You're on your way home after a shitty day of work. Your train is already way behind schedule because a crackhead ran onto the tracks, and even though he was removed within seconds, for some reason that means every train in the entire fucking city has to stop dead in their tracks for a full hour. When your train finally shows up it's jam packed shoulder to shoulder. You can barely even fit. Even worse, it's 10 degrees outside so you're in your heaviest winter coat, but since it's "cold outside" the conductor is just blasting the heat, which makes the train car a literal hell on earth. That coupled with the body heat you're absorbing from the 400-pound creature pressed up against your chest makes you genuinely wish the scarier looking man behind you would pull out a gun and put a bullet in the back of your head. Yet still, against all odds, you somehow make it to your stop alive.

But when you finally step off the train, what do you hear? Some fucking asshole with a cello playing the most beautiful piece of classical music your ears have ever heard. Not today bitch. You reach for an empty, disgusting Steel Reserve Forty that's lying on the ground, sneak up behind the polite well-dressed man performing a PERFECT rendition of Beethoven's Cello Sonata in A. Major, and crack him over the skull. Take that bitch. Then you decide, "You know what, that's not enough", so you pick up the bottle to give him another whack before successfully running from the cops and losing them inside the world's largest Macy's.

I'm sure we've all thought about doing that before. Of course I never would. Unless I was like.. really pissed off at Nate or something. But I have the utmost respect for subway buskers. Some guy sang The Beatles on my train the other day. It was beautiful. I almost even gave him money. And Bob Dylan is my favorite artist of all time. I also have immense respect for the cello. It takes a kid with a lot of mental fortitude to be the "cello kid" and drag that giant piece of equipment through the halls of high school every day, despite it being one of the least cool instruments ever. 

Just don't hit street performers over the head with bottles. That's bad form. Even if you go viral for it.