I'm Giving Up The Impossible For Lent This Year

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Young Smoke used to be an absolute menace when it came to CCD school. I was a volunteer teacher's worst nightmare. Looking back, I do feel bad. Facing LeBron James after algebra class is a walk in the park compared to facing Young Smoke after working a 9-5. I was never disrespectful to my teachers, but I could never keep my mouth shut. I still can't. 

Even as a young whippersnapper, the only thing I wanted to do was make the ladies' laugh, and although I could do that, it was never enough to outweigh the acne and braces on my face. I remember walking into class on Valentine’s Day with my lover boy card in hand, and as I go to give my CCD crush the love note I wrote her, she stopped me and said, 'I want you to give up talking to me for Lent.' I felt my heart drop faster than a poorly skipped rock on a lake, and from that moment forward, a fuckboy was born. Thanks, Kristina.


Anyway, since I haven't talked to that bitch girl in 11 years, I'd say I've done a pretty good job of not breaking Lent. So this year, I really wanted to challenge myself. I wanted to do the impossible. As I've said before, I am a firm believer that Elon is pumping our timeline with straight dime pieces so we get bricked up and start fucking.

Sorry, Elon, I'm not a simp, and I can assure you that me knocking someone up has absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that I can barely take care of myself let alone a child and a nagging wife. Which is why for this years lent I will be blocking the finest girls that consistently pop up on my Twitter X timeline. 

Dear Lavaxgrll

You will forever be my main squeeze, or my boo thing as the streets like to call it back home. Ever since Elon took over my favorite app, you've been more than a pleasant surprise. If not for you, I don't know how I'd get through the stressful days of not knowing what to blog about or what content to make. So, for that, I thank you and will definitely be seeing you soon.

I'd apologize for the whole thread, but I won't. She's just like that. 

Dear Sophie,

Even though you are the biggest industry plant I have ever seen, you are still great at what you do. It will honestly be refreshing not having to see you on my timeline 8x a day, but deep down you will be missed. I wish you the best of luck for you and your career. Peace.


Dear Mercedes,

Although your content is mid as fuck, you still fine as hell, and your replies…. well I'll let you guys read through those. Even though I think you're an AI bot, I do appreciate what you do for OnlyFans girls across the globe. Good luck, and good riddance!