I Could Drive To Chicago By 3 AM, Or Dave Can Use Some Of That $500K Super Bowl Bet Win And Have Me There Within The Hour

I want to apologize in advance to the readers of this great website. I know not all of my coworkers feel the same, but I generally try to put time and effort into my writing to give you all a few laughs. Unfortunately, tonight's events are not a laughing matter. There will be no jokes in this blog, only in some of the shooting forms I'm seeing on the livestream. The fact of the matter is that it pains me to watch the good and talented people of the Barstool Chicago office struggle to make 41 free throws in a row. They've been in there for 4.5 hours. They might be in there for 4.5 more weeks...

I believe I can be of some assistance:

Yes I know I once again showed my creativity and attention to detail by wearing a DraftKings hat and playing the New York chorus of Jay Z's Empire State of Mind in the background, but that's not the point of this blog. The point of this blog is to offer Dave Portnoy a deal. I am supposed to work through this Friday at my school, but I will quit effectively immediately to come save these boys from a lifetime of free throw shooting. He just needs to give me the call, and then I'll make the next call.

If it's still going on, the first flight out of Columbus to Chicago is at 6:00 am, and I could be there by 6:30 Central Time. If they plan on shooting through the night, I can start driving no and by there by 3:00 am. Or if he wants to use any of that 500K he won on the Super Bowl yesterday, he can send me the PJ and I'll be there within the hour. There is no doubt in my mind that Titus and Tate could send everyone home in 15 minutes. Because folks.....THEY'RE FREE!

**Did you guys just hear Rico say that it's unfair that I have a shooting gun rebounding for me? What an idiot. You guys have the same rebounding machine....they're just called humans. And I have to shoot it over that high net, you dummy. 

#DKPartner 

Update: On my way.