Barstool Golf x THE PLAYERS Championship Collection | SHOP NOW

Dumping Them Out: Super Bowl LVII

I was going to write a regular Dumping Them Out when I woke up this morning, but then I fell back asleep. Then I was going to write something to have done before the Super Bowl started, but then I fell back asleep again. But then I thought it would be a better idea to write a blog during the Super Bowl. I will add my thoughts + more Boobs GIFs as the game progresses.

I'm starting to think every Super Bowl should be in Las Vegas. I just makes so much sense. They have the infrastructure to host it easily. Now that the NFL doesn't pretend gambling doesn't exist, and have actually started to embrace it, it's just the perfect fit. And going out after winning would be awesome. Only other place that's close to me is Miami.

I can't help but notice that neither the Chiefs or the 49ers have 'End Racism" on the back of their helmets any more. Does that mean racism is over? Did the NFL end racism once and for all? Congratulations to them. If anybody was going to do it it's Roger Goodell.

They just showed Taylor Swift. How the hell did Ice Spice end up making her way into her inner circle. Because from where I'm sitting it seems like Taylor's ex-boyfriend Matty Healy went on the Adam Friedland Show and called Ice Spice a chubby Chinese lady, then ever since then Ice Spice goes everywhere with her. Were that friends at all before then? Or did Taylor Swift just feel bad then decide to become best friends? Maybe they already were I don't actually know. But after Matty Healy thing happened Taylor Swift invited her on tour, and now Ice Spice is in one of the most high profile friend groups in the world. What an awesome turn of events for Ice Spice. Might have been the best thing that ever happened to her.

It's bullshit that companies release their Super Bowl commercials before the Super Bowl. If your commercial doesn't make its legitimate debut during the Super Bowl then it shouldn't get to count as a Super Bowl commercial.

It's bullshit that Kadarius Toney isn't playing. Him dropping every single pass that hits him in the hands is so funny to watch. And he's good enough to be open a lot, so he's going to get so many chances to drop the ball. He makes the Chiefs so much more fun. He's a piece of adversity that they should be forced to overcome. They're blessed with Patrick Mahomes and Andy Reid. They should be forced to play Kadarius Toney too. Also I bet him to score 2 TD's earlier this week after he said in an interview that he was a #1 quarterback and now he's just not playing so I'm mad about that.

55 yards being the longest field goal in Super Bowl history is shocking. I feel like I see a 55 yard field goal every game.

At the start of the 2nd quarter my 'No Touchdowns' bet is still alive. $5 to win $1000. Really wish I would have gone harder on that.

Holy shit I just realized the broadcast didn't show Taylor Swift in the first quarter. I'm not sure what the odds on that were but that's a brutal beat if you bet that.

No Touchdowns +20000 was a hell of a ride. Lasted way longer than it should have. Now I'm forced to cheer for a game that doesn't completely suck.

I very much would like to see a comprehensive list of every celebrity who appeared in a Super Bowl commercial, and exactly how much money they made for each one. This must be like Christmas for them. I'm assuming most of them didn't even have to put in a full day of work. What a life that must be.

I love that I'm now the age (32) where I'm the target audience for the Super Bowl halftime show. The "throwbacks" like Usher are now right in my wheel house. I'm very happy that he did U Got It Bad. Great song. But above all I was happy for Lil Jon. Lil Jon was fucking enormous for a very short period of time. I don't know what he's been up to lately, but I'm sure getting to be a part of the Super Bowl halftime show is huge for him. He deserves it. There was a time where you couldn't listen to the radio for 5 minutes without Lil Jon screaming WHAT in your ear.

About that man who ran onto the field in the middle of the game (I won't call him a streaker because you don't get the streaker title unless you go penis out). But that's still a pretty cool thing to say you did once in your life. It's not like you're really hurting anyone. It's just kinda funny, and you end up with some criminal charges that make your life slightly inconvenient for maybe 2 years. Kinda seems worth it. I have half a mind to make that a bucket list item. 

I'm still very torn on Tony Romo as an announcer. I actually feel like I learn a lot of new things every time he calls a game. He gives great insight. But holy shit is he annoying. 

Juwan Jennings has to win MVP if the 49ers win this right? Nobody else is sticking out and the dude has touchdown pass and a touchdown reception in a game where nothing is happening. 

Were the 3 longest kicks in Super Bowl history made tonight? That's a ridiculous stat. You mean to tell me in 52 Super Bowls, the only 3 kicks over 55 yards happened in a single game? I'm not saying it's wrong or anything that's just a shocking stat.

There's just no way Patrick Mahomes doesn't get at least 3 points here right? 

Nobody gets away with intentional grounding more than Mahomes. He just stood in the pocket and launched a ball into the 4th row, and they ref immediately points at a receiver who the ball was never about to go to.

Tony Romo fucking loves the word permutations. I'm pretty sure he thinks its pronounced "permeatations" though. 

Not going to lie I wanted to see Travis Kelce score the game winning touchdown. Just for the chaos. Fucking overtime.

49ers should have gone the touchdown on their first OT possession. Should have ran the ball 2 more times with McCaffery when it was 3rd &3 instead of running a fancy pass play then settling for a field goal. Maybe I'll be proven wrong but you just gave the ball back to Patrick Mahomes down 3 with a chance to win the Super Bowl. I know he would have gotten a chance anyways but still. Your offense might not see the field again.

It's crazy that the Chiefs are in the Super Bowl with the the receivers they have. Valdez-Scantling might have money on the 49ers. Just running the wrong direction. Say what you want about Kadarius Toney, but he wouldn't have gotten negative yards there. He simply would have dropped it.

We're going to get a second overtime here aren't we. Why are overtimes even timed? What does that add. Just an extra break? 

Never mind. Turns out I still don't understand how playoff OT works at all.

Damn Chiefs. Mecole Hardman wide open. Shoutout to Andy Reid for not trying to force the ball to Travis Kelce. Pete Carroll would have called 4 straight plays for him and got their shit picked off.

I was right that the 49ers shouldn't have kicked that FG in overtime. You can't just let Patrick Mahomes beat you like that.