The White Sox New Stadium Renderings Are AWESOME, But Some Bozos Are Mad It Won't Be Surrounded By A Sea Of Parking Lots

Last night, artist renderings of a new White Sox stadium in the 78 neighborhood were "officially" revealed by WGN: 

Like others, I'm a massive sucker for new stadium renderings, and I'm a sucker even though the actual stadiums rarely are completed looking anything like said renderings. 

In this exact instance it doesn't matter to me, though. With a limited parcel of land, these renderings will be close enough and my fucking goodness, would this stadium be cool. 

So cool, in fact, that Brandon Walker said he thinks it'd instantly be a top 5 stadium in all of sports. 

But I digress - nobody gives a shit about Brandon Walker's opinion on the White Sox or their stadium's location. In the end, THE ONLY THING WE CARE ABOUT IS WINNING BASEBALL GAMES. I don't care if that's at their current location or in a new one. Just ditch the loser ways and start winning. 

Please. That's all we ask. 

Go ahead and dangle the carrot of a new stadium and we'll eat that shit up, though. It's the first time the Sox have gotten good news on this level in years and years and years. 

That's not to say the new stadium renderings haven't been met with opposition though. Apparently Sox fans fucking LOVE their parking lots: 

And I could have linked another few dozen tweets but you guys get the point.

Look, nobody loves posting up in Lot B and throwing back a few Miller Lites with the fellas in 85 degree weather prior to a 3-1 White Sox loss to the Royals or Tigers than me. NOBODY. I've sold merch on merch on merch about that tailgating lot. I LOVE THAT SLAB OF CONCRETE. Love it with all my heart. 

But like...what in the FUCK are we talking about here? We're not talking about a game, not a game, not a game...we're talking about PARKING LOTS. 

And people worried they won't have door to door access or the ability to get shitfaced outside the stadium. While the latter will most likely be the penance we pay to get this new stadium, it's a penance I personally would gladly pay if it means the White Sox are:  

A. gearing up for a sale (more on this in a moment)
2. going to start acting like a REAL big market organization in a division of 3rd world city shitholes
D. going to dig into the Cubs fanbase 

Let's focus on A for a moment, but I'll preface by reminding the reader that I'm a moron who doesn't know what I'm talking about here: if a new stadium is in the works, that has to make the organization that much more valuable in a sale. Jerry turns 88 at the end of the month and father time is undefeated. When father time rings Jerry's bell, someone will be willing to cut Jerry's kids a check for...idk...2 billion? 3 billion? Whatever the number is, it'd be WAY more than if they stay in their current digs. 

Every single Sox fan on EARTH should have the exact same sentiment as this guy regarding a potential sale once the new stadium is complete: 

So yeah, a sale in and of itself should be MORE than ample reason for Sox fans to not give a single fuuuuuuck about parking at the new stadium. 

On to point B - more money made = more more money to spend = better free agents. I am 1000% sure this is how it works because I'm an economist as I mentioned earlier. 

Everyone say hello to the franchise's FIRST $100,000,000.00 player in 2030!!! 

Giphy Images.

Only half joking there. Trout's contract is up in 2031 and unless Kenny Williams is running the team again a half decade from now, I don't think we'll see the ghost of Mike Trout in Chicago. 

The following paragraph won't make sense to non-White Sox (or Cubs) fans, but that's okay because D: Cubs fans do NOT like the idea of a new stadium. They're intimidated by it. and they don't like that the White Sox might not be the losers from the other side of town anymore. They don't like that they might be getting something awesome built for them in due time. That, also, is good enough reason for me to lose my tailgating lot. 

Again, only like half kidding there. In the end, people just hate change. A new stadium at the 78 location would be incredible and guess what?

Easy to get to for everyone. It'll have the following options: 

- Uber
- Parking garages
- Shuttles from satellite lots
- Lyft
- Metra
- Water Taxis
- Walking
- Bike riding
- Boat riding 

and last, but not least, Spot Hero: 

Fans will have ample transportation options. AMPLE. Quit your goddamn bitching. That's part of the give/take of city/suburb living - ease of access to public transportation and if you refuse to take any of the available option, you don't have to go. Many others will. 

Again, I'll miss the fuck out of tailgating, Turtles, Cork, Shinnick's, etc. but if I have to leave them to get into a new stadium with a club that acts like it's in the big leagues, that's a price I'm willing to pay and I think every other fan should be willing to pay too.