Mom! Dan Marino Is Drinking Again! He Thinks The Dolphins Can Win a Super Bowl

Super Bowl week: the time of year when all my optimism turns into pessimism. Sure, I love getting together with friends and family to drink and gamble on the biggest game of the year, but the week leading up to the Super Bowl sucks, especially if you're a Dolphins fan. The only thing you think about is how exciting it would be if one day your team were playing in the big game, just to realize it might never happen. I hate to be Frank Jr., but I have no choice. This team has broken me in so many ways that I don't even feel pain anymore; I'm just defeated. I was finally getting over being humiliated by the Chiefs, and then Dan Marino has to go out and say this shit.

I don't believe a word Dan said. What did you think Dan was going to say? "Tua sucks, there's no chance this team can win a Super Bowl with him"? Of course not. And listen, I don't think Tua sucks at all. In fact, he is by far the best QB we've had since Dan left, but that doesn't mean this team is going to win a Super Bowl. The Dolphins not being able to win a Super Bowl has nothing to do with Tua; it has everything to do with the burial ground curse and Patrick Mahomes. 

I've already seen this movie before with Brady. The last time the Dolphins won the division was the year Brady tore his ACL. I would never pray for a player to get hurt, but that's the only way this team has a chance to win a Super Bowl. This year's Dolphins team was the best it's been in the last 15 years, and all it got us was 2nd place in the East and no playoff wins. What do you want me to say? I've already said "this is our year" for the last 3 years, and I'm okay with admitting that it's not. Maybe me being Frank Jr. will change the trajectory of the franchise. I'm sorry, but I'm done looking for the light. It's time for this team to show us the light.