Scientists Have Figured Out Their Plan To Cool The Earth - Launch a Giant Umbrella The Size Of Argentina Into Space And Dim The Sun

Andy Lyons. Getty Images.

You know in college when you're sitting around high out of your mind just throwing out crazy ideas about how to get rich and/or change the world? Most of the time nothing came of it. Every now and then though something like launching nuclear bombs at a category five hurricane was brought up and everyone stops for a second to figure out if that would actually work. You'd be surprised at the origin of some of mankind's greatest thoughts. 

Well now we have scientists revealing their masterplan for cooling the Earth and slowing down climate change. They want to launch a giant umbrella into space and dim the sun. 

(Daily Mail) Climate scientists are developing an umbrella-like shade the size of Argentina that would block the sun's rays to mitigate the effects of global warming on Earth.

The wild idea comes from Israeli researchers who believe the one-million-square-mile shade could reduce the Earth's temperature by 2.7 degrees Fahrenheit within two years.

The team at Technion-Israel Institute of Technology is seeking up to $20 million for a prototype of 100 square feet, which they said could be achieved by 2027.

While researchers are pushing forward with the proposal, critics said the cost of the 'megastructure' would be incredible - the Israeli design is expected to reach trillions.

Now hand up, I'm not exactly the biggest climate/environment first guy. In theory sure, I'd like to be clean and leave the world better than I entered it, but the execution just isn't there when it's laid out in front of me. For example, leaving a movie theater I'll struggle to quickly recognize the words on each bin to know where to properly dispose of each thing in my hand. In general I hate when it's cold out and would much prefer warmth. NYC winters are brutal, bleak, and depressing. The scientists want to reduce the Earth's temperature by almost three degrees? That seems like way too much. 

Launching an umbrella the size of Argentina directly towards the sun sounds like an idea a supervillain would concoct. Oh that's right, Mr. Burns actually did this. 

Seriously, how the fuck do they always call this shit? 

I could probably sit here for hours and list all the bad shit that can come from this, but for the sake of everyone's time I'll ask the big question — what if it works too well and we just have no sun? I'm no scientist but no sun equals bad news for life on Earth. Also don't we need the sun's strong rays to grow crops? Photosynthesis? I get that we are probably past the point of reducing carbon emissions on our own and need to think out of the box, but to think we could defeat the sun by dimming it is insane. The fucking sun? Sorry, had to. 

Also, the pricing for this thing is INSANE. The tiny 100 square foot prototype is gonna run us $20M alone. The actual thing? Trillions. Would be sick if we spent that money on our country's infrastructure instead of caring about what our planet might look like generations from now, but who am I to say? I already pay enough taxes, the last thing I want to do is fund something for generations from now. Let them figure it out.  

I think at this point we just hope the aliens visit us and give everyone the key to fixing shit. Otherwise it's been real.